The other day our Cohort 4 had a photo shoot day where everyone is supposed to dress their best. This is something for the farewell dinner stuff and Salam Perantauan or something like that. Our very own completed version of Cohort 4 in a picture.
That day, I was feeling a bit emotional.
It got to do with the weather. It was raining and we didn't get the chance to snap photos at Albert Park (which has splendid view now that it is spring). We had to settle at somewhere indoor. At least Old Government House has superb surrounding. I do prefer outdoor shoot though. Just not our luck.
Then a certain someone that was supposed to not be happy was laughing the heart out. See, me being emotional. That person is not supposed to be happy that day. Why was there laughter? I was crazy as well as emotional.
Then, it got to do with everyone wearing purple. I was wearing purple too. And it did not make me feel special with other purple surrounding me. It was just coincidence and I am not mad at anyone in particular. Just it adds up to me feeling a bit emotional. Why oh why I wore purple that day?
Now that I am in that state of emotional, I snapped easily. One tiny silly question made my heart skip a beat. One person as much as disturbed my view, my hand flinched. I smiled on the outside of course.
I can be like that sometime.
Just not my day~
* emotional here means mad. not sad.
Guru Malaysia serba boleh
boleh berlakon Drama bersiri : Cinta di sebalik Pohon Rumbia
I have been meaning to wear 'anak tudung' for some time now. I guess the my determination suits well with the Ramadhan this year. My personal goal is by the end of Ramadhan, I'll get use to wearing 'anak tudung' underneath my scarf and stick by it.
I am not much of 'anak tudung' person (Is there such thing as 'anak tudung' person?). In Malaysia, I find it quite warm to wear it, which is just an excuse, I know. I did not wear it even when I was in school which supposedly to be a requirement. I got away with it just fine. And, I got used not to wearing it.
Abroad, I just got myself to control myself (not a good thing). It didn't do me any good since sometimes I found myself even without scarf. Came the new year, I find myself quite determine wearing the scarf (I do slip sometimes, but not as much as last year).
Lucky for me, my mom left a few of her 'anak tudung' (three to be exact) behind when she visited during the summer. Since, I never owned 'anak tudung' before, this is a great oppurtunity to start trying to wear 'anak tudung'.
Which I tried a few times before Ramadhan.
It does not go well with me. The purpose of not showing my strands of hair does not go to well by wearing 'anak tudung'. My hair somehow manage to find ways getting free and showing themselves.
It is also not comfy wearing 'anak tudung' after many years not wearing it. That is even before Ramadhan.
During Ramadhan, I stick with not wearing 'anak tudung', to a point which I am not certain yet until when.
p/s: This strand of hair keep coming out due to my current hair style.
* * On the same note:
Last week, when I visited school, one Philippines student ask me about my scarf, and I just simply said, to cover my hair from men seeing them. I did not feel like going into details about religion and requirement and all with him being in immersion class and me not confident enough explaining it all in English.
He, then, pointing to all my hair visible despite my head scarf and said, "I can see your hair. There. There."
That hurt. Like hell.
In my defence, it was almost last period and I had assignment due that evening and I did not sleep well two nights in a row before and I was a mess all over.
Niat di hati nak ringankan kepala lepas esaimen yang tak berhenti, malam tanpa lena dan kelas yang bertubi. Mungkin melakukan aktiviti yang dalam golongan senarai harga yang berpatutan, mengikut kemampuan.
Ajak HR. Aku kata, "Jom unwind jom!" Dia kata, "Ok. "
Dia memang macam tuh. Mudah. Oh tak, sebenarnya dia jenis yang suka berjalan-jalan, merepek dan just hangout. Berjuta kali ajak aku pergi picnic, ada la sekali dua aku layankan. Sejuk ma~ Apahal nak makan di luar?
Selepas beberapa lama, kitorang bercadang untuk ke wayang. Tapi aku tiada apa-apa cerita yang betol-betol aku teringin tengok kerana Public Enemies dah habis tayangan untuk hari tersebut. HR pilih cerita pengarah kegemarannya, si Quentin Tarantino. Aku layankan aja. Aku hanya mahu chill~
Oh cerita tersebut ada Brad Pitt. Tetapi cerita itu tidak lah merehatkan minda seperti yang aku harapkan. Tapi, BEST gila. Banyak adengan yang memWOWkan aku dan cukup banyak scence yang membuatkan aku beristigfar (Bagus kan, di mana2 tetap ingat Pencipta).
Sesetngah babak lawak gila. Dan I love every bits of it. Aku bukan jenis yang enjoy tonton cerita yang perlukan subtitle, tapi cerita ini sangat memberangkan minda. Tapi aku tegaskan bukan untuk rehatkan minda lah. Kerana setiap saat aku akan bersedia untuk menjerit.
Pergilah tonton ya. Tajuk cerita ialah Inglourious Basterds. Aku bagi 8.74/10.
Walking back from work just now, saw an old Punjab couple sharing one umbrella in the drizzling rain. The man was holding the small umbrella for them both. Trying so hard to protect his lady from the rain. He held the umbrella so tightly (NZ rain comes with heavy rain) despite his old age and I can see he was shaking. He also wore a plastic bag on his head so that he can provide the umbrella for the wife. I felt touched.
I thought to myself, I am thankful that I live in a world where there is still man who is like that. And couple that are so in love. Even in old age.
I hope every girl has that kind of man as their lover.
I dont like it when I am too dependent on one person. Or more. Just dont like the idea of needing someone else to enable me in functioning. I like being able to decide for myself. Standing on my own two feet.
I have been wanting to write something about my first crush eversince I read Magenta's post. The delay of this post is not entirely because I am busy but simply because I have been wrecking my brain thinking who was my exact first crush. Not because I am a forgetful person, just cause I don't know which one of them if the first of very first. I am all about love. Spreading love.
So, I decided to write about the one that changed my life.
His name was Ashraf. We were 8. He was one of my classmates. He was so cute at that time (I have no idea how he looks now). Dia pelat -s.
I remember me always inviting him to do any pair work or group work together. I was an active kid who like to ask lotsa questions to teachers (Off topic~). I like him so much that I always bug him whenever I can. I followed him during recess. I am that crazy.
I think I did say I like him one day to which he announced he was moving to Sabah. With his family. Before he moved, he gave a letter. Explaining that maybe we can write to each other and stay friends. I ignored it.
Apparently, there was other boys who adore me. More than one boy. Not wasting my time for long distance relationship (more like he never said he liked me back). I received a lot more letters. Even more when I was 9.
Oh, I entertained every one of them.
Even abang kantin ~ Don't judge me - if he let you take stuff for free because he likes you, you are advised not to deny him the pleasure.
Three days after I told HR that my dad is definitely coming this November, he asked me whether I have plan anything for my dad. I was a bit surprised. I told him that it was like three days ago when I knew. My brain is still adjusting to the news (Yes, yes my brain is bit slow).
He said, knowing me I probably had everything sorted out. He said he knows that I like doing those things. Planning and executing, he means.
I do like it. The truth is I had roughly planned everything in my brain right after I received his email. Like in my slow brain. Nothing official on paper yet.
As I am writing this, I already finished the schedule. I am loving the plan. Yay!
p/s: I even almost finish drafting the Cohort 4 Farewell Dinner party with Acap. HR also helped out.
When I arrived at my mother's apartment complex, I was greeted by the disconcerting sight of a fire truck parked outside. There was no sign of smoke, and the firefighters didn't seem worried. Still, I asked one, "Is it safe to go inside? I'm a little wary of entering a building when the fire truck's lights are on."
"Don't worry about it," he said. "We do it all the time."
* * *
Rasa sedikit berbangga kerana ramai yang tonton HIMYM. Oh, perasaan ini timbul kerana kerana aku rasa aku yang mengajar mereka semua-semua itu. Biarla aku nak perasan. Sebab penat woo aku download. Kasik la kredit sket. Korang hanya tonton saja.
I really like it when my best friends like my boyfriend. It is a great feeling. That everyone can hang out with everyone. I can include my boyfriend in outings or vice versa. Well, it is more superb if my boyfriend likes my best friends' boy friends. Then everyone can hang out together like one big happy group. There will be no awkward feeling.
I mean they dont have to like each other or be close together like we girls do, just enough if they can laugh at the same thing and ride the same car together. Enough when we girls leave them together, there will be no awkward silence.
I wish I can the same about my boyfriend's best friend.
Last nyte, UMSA held a dessert night. It was so gorgeous. The food. The location. The people. The surrounding. It was superb. There were just so many cakes and cheeses and tarts to choose from. Everything is just delicious. The sweetness was non-stop. I had a blast. It was definitely worth it.
I miss the time when my biggest problem was choosing between playing galah panjang or 'zero point'. Those were the days when I could roam free playing without any worries in the world. Those times my troubles revolved around whether I should stick with strawberry-flavoured ice cream or try chocolate instead. Now, there are calories to think about before choosing any ice cream. Also I need to think about the price, the worthiness of every penny I pay.
I miss the time when my biggest fear was to find my missing favorite doll which I forgot where I last played it with. Whether the doll should be wearing party costumes or swimming gear. Those times when you could freely talk to dolls without people thinking that you are crazy.
I miss the time where I could go carefree around my hometown without worrying what people said about me. No worries of people judging you. No eyes staring at you and anticipating my next mistakes.
I miss the time when money was not an issue. When I had nothing to worry about. When I didn't have to think how my next move going to affect me later.