Wednesday, October 28

Ma Mama

My favourite movie of all time is White Chicks. The movie never fails to crack me up. Always. I think I have watched that movie more than 50 times. One of the scenes that I like is when Megan and Heather tried to have sort of put down Tiffany and Brittany with the 'mama' stuff.

White chicks: My God. You want to talk about mother? You want to talk about mothers. lt's mother time. Okay... Your mother's so dumb she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear. Something's wrong, Dr. Dre. My coochie's doing a beatbox.

Heather / Megan : Yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid... she exercises when she could just get... liposuction or something.

White chicks: Your mother's so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breast-feed like this.

Heather / Megan : Your mother is so, like.... She's so.... Megan, you go. Your mother is so stupid... that she goes to Barneys Rooftop Deck Restaurant for lunch... and orders a ni├žoise salad and calls it a ''ni-coise'' salad. ''Ni-coise'' salad, right?

White chicks: Your mother's ass is so hairy... it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, ''Only in America!''

Heather / Megan : Your mother's so stupid... that she goes into Gucci and she tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff.


That's just an intro.

If I ever gonna do the 'stunt', I would go like

My mom is so cool that we can just communicate through Yahoo Messenger. She can easily buzz me to chat. And it is for free. Plus, she also loves webchat.

My mom is so cool that she has her own blog. Which she updates frequently and talks about important academic stuff.

My mom is so cool that she has a Facebook account. She regularly uses and updates. She even plays games and beats me.

Anyway, for the greatest mom in the world whom I love very very much,

Happy Birthday.
May you always look younger and fairer.
May you are blessed with great health.
May you have all the happiness in the world.
May you enjoy all the wealth showered over you.

It is a blessed to have mom who is technologically literate. Just yesterday as we were chatting, she advised me to always be thankful and never look too high up the sky and be too proud. And truly, I am thankful for a wonderful mom like you.

Tuesday, October 27

All my life I've been searching for somethin' Somethin' never comes, never leads to nuthin' Nothin' satisfies, but I'm gettin' close

I am always worried there will be one point in a relationship, where there is nothing else to share. We have told this other half about everything that is needed to know. Until there is nothing left to cherish. Will the unknowing future be enough?

I am always scared if I am unable to say the right words to people in need. What would be the best advice to say to someone who just lost their parents? Shall I be happy and hope that my happiness somehow influence that person. Shall I keep all the thought that I wish to say to myself? Would consolation and a cup of coffee be enough to mend a broken heart?

I am terrified if there will come to a day when the one who I love don't tell me their deepest fear, troubles and secrets. They no longer trust me to unload their burden. They no longer say what they usually share with the dearest one like me. They keep this weight to themselves.

I know what I'll always do. I always retreat back to my shell. Trying to ignore these thoughts in my head. I believe in 'it's not a problem unless you verbalize it'. Ignoring these is the best way I can cope. I know this is stupid and senseless, but that's just how my mechanism works.

Sunday, October 25

Company and Cofffee

I really like to go out for drinks with friends and talk about stuff. I find it so exciting and such a great way to release all the tense I am having. During the drinks, there will be exchanging of secrets, sharing problems, providing solutions to the problems, and of course gossips. Oh, we also talks about the latest world issue. Like, how cute is Suri and how gorgeous is Drew Barrymore.

Lately, my hangout buddies has been males. Most of the time. So the topic changes a bit. No, not the gossip part. They gossip just fine. From flicking through women magazines, I find myself joining them to flick through gadgets 'zine. Checking out the latest and most canggih camera and what not. The boys do flick at the women magazine, but for different reasons than us girls.

Nevertheless, I love it when I'm bored in the middle of the night, I can go recruiting some friends to join me for late nite recap of the week. It is just a great life. Especially now as a cup of coffee does not feel that expensive anymore with Acap's endless of Esquires coupons.

p/s: Can't wait to go back to Malaysia and catch up with friends.

Saturday, October 24

You can't handle the truth

You don't like me, i don't like you, it don't matter
Only difference, you still listen, i don't have to
In one ear and, out the other, i don't need you
Your words don't stick, i ain't perfect, but you ain't either

- Kill the lights (Britney Spears)

Yup, that statue is topless.

Friday, October 23

Alternatively, bugger off!

Gambar Hiasan: Taken from Barney's Blog

I believe that I am somewhat feminist. Not an extremist like I wanna be equal to men kinda thing. I think I like knowing that men are the stronger kind and SHOULD help out everytime needed. Especially for heavy lifting purposes.

My kinda feminism is mostly revolving around not liking men puttting down women just because they are women and women all are stereotypical. I really don't like it when other men put down my fellow girlfriends. Even when I don't like her. Even when I know what he said is true. Even when I said the same thing to other GIRLS.

I just don't like men labeling or criticizing another girl. Not in front of me. Especially, when he said it because it is typical women behaviour. For instance, Ahmad said Aminah never washes herself and is always dirty. Which may be true. And he start rambles on about Aminah's other flaws and related it with being a women. Ahmad's tone is enough to make me defend Aminah, my sworn enemy. To Ahmad, my lover. Just because I am a girl.

p/s: btw, if you are my close friend, don't worry, I'll never joined in when people are talking bad about you behind your back, I'll just listen. No, I won't report it backt o you either. However, bear in mind that I won't likely to defend you also (because I am a chickenshit).

Thursday, October 22

Excressing = Excited + Depressing

Yesterday was the official last lecture I attended in New Zealand.
It was Language Teaching 301.
It was with Tan Bee Tin.
I have mixed feelings.
Though I love that I don't have to attend lectures anymore,
I betcha I am going to miss it.
I am now left with two assignments to submit
and two exam papers to sit.
I am going to leave New Zealand soon.
For good.

p/s: I haven't slept yet tonight in order to finish the assignment which is due today.

Saturday, October 17


Last Friday went out with some friends to see the light show by Telecom.

me with my lovely blue top. newly bought bargain at warehouse, $7.49.

The show was amazing. But the company was even more awesome. I don't really know the science behind the show and how did the lights stuff work yet it just some light projected to a building that change and further enhance the beauty and uniqueness of the building.

No light on the building yet

Ancient look

Cougar look

Happy colourful look

Blob look

with one of the crew

Interactive light

Move move for the light

me and the girls.
went out for drinks after the night.

me and HR.

I'll end this post with Acap's new album.
Buy original. Be original.
Or just torrent it.
Who cares.

I dub thee unforgiven

Do you know how stupid and heartless I can be? I can be quite a queen bitch. I know that.

During Eid the other day, I attempted to avoid to 'salam beraya' with some people. I pretend to be immersed in conversation when certain someone looked like trying to salam2. Ieven moved to a different room or something like that. I ensured that I did everything I could to avoid them.

The thing is when 'salam beraya' you have to forgive the person and ask for forgiveness from the other person. I dont mind asking for forgiveness.

My only intention for doing so is because I refused to forgive what they have done to me and how they made me feel. I felt that what they have done shall not be forgiven ever and they should be punished or feel guitly or live in sin forever. EMO kan?

I think they deserve that.

Then, Ati said something that made me snap out of it . Sedangkan Nabi pun maafkan umat, sapa la kita tak nak maafkan orang. She said that on the first day of Eid.

There are some other stuffs that she said that melted my stone heart.

I even find the person first and said the magic word. "Maafkan salah silap aku zahir dan batin dan halalkan makan minum".

After that, I felt a bit calmer. All the grudge that I held for that certain someone, disappear.

Nowadays, when people talk about that certain someone and some stories that involved me and the fallout and what not, I just smile. I refused to indulge other people curiosity. However, I still enjoy listening to gossip about these certain people.

Gossip is just interesting.


Tuesday, October 13

Mari menyanyi

Ayahku pulang dari kota
Ayahku belikan kereta
Kereta kecil warna merah
Boleh ku bawa ke sekolah

Pon Pon Pon Pon Pon Pon Pon
Kereta kecilku berbunyi
Marilah adik mari naik
Boleh ku bawa jumpa nenek

HR kata lagu ni sedari kecil lagi membuatkan dia keliru. Pelikkan? Lagu gembira ini pun boleh menyebabkan dia berfikir dengan begitu mendalam. Dia memang suka fikir benda-benda yang sedikit tidak relevan.

Dia tak faham konsep lagu tersebut dan sibuk tanya aku untuk penjelasan.

Kereta tu kereta mainan ke kereta betul? Dia bawa ke sekolah tu untuk main ke betul-betul boleh pandu ke rumah nenek? Boleh ke adik-adik naik kalau kereta tu kereta mainan? Kenapa nak bawak ke rumah nenek? Aku hanya jawab, sebab nenek itu nenek kebayan.

Dia senyap sebentar sebelum buka topik baru.

Friday, October 9

Buruk siku

Dalam kami bersembang-sembang dari satu topik ke topik yang lain, HR pesan kepada aku,

"Jangan sesekali mengungkit tentang pemberian. Terutama kalau sedang bertekak.
Kalau dah bagi, kena ikhlas."

Aku angguk saja. Diam. Dalam kepala proses nasihat. Cuba amalkan. Cuba. Cuba. Cuba.

Thursday, October 8

The Influence of Social Factors on the English Proficiency of B. Ed. (TESL) Foundation Cohort 4 Students in IPBA

Aku tahu aku sedikit loser apabila aku mengaku aku pernah google nama sendiri. Menarik ok resultnya. Oh, semalam google nama sendiri dan jumpa ini.

Aku senyum sendiri.

Senyum bangga ok!

Dah tak terasa loser pun~

Wednesday, October 7

Language or Linguistics

Harituh terdengar perbualan dua makcik di tempat kerja. Eavesdropping sebab aku malas mendail. Depa sembang dan bertukar pendapat tentang kemungkinan sebab-musabab orang-orang yang tak cekap berbahasa Inggeris berhijrah / menetap di negara yang populasinya menggunakan bahasa tersebut.

Aku dengar makcik A bising-bising, kalau tak reti cakap, kenapa nak menetap jugak? Macam mana nak komunikasi atau hidup dengan keselesaan di negara ini. Makcik B mengiyakan ja. Dia sokong pendapat makcik A. Kemudian aku dah tak ambil pusing sebab aku sambung ja mendail tapi kejauhan aku dengar jugak makcik A tetap sambung membebel tak puas hati (komplenje keje ko ye makcik, dail tanak~).

Tapi, aku selalu juga terfikir tentang persoalan itu. Terutama kalau lepas mendail ke rumah-rumah manusia yang hanya cakap, "No English!" dan megulangnya untuk sepuluh kali ketika aku sudah penat membebel. Yang memang betul-betul tak faham. Kalau makcik / pakcik tua, mungkin boleh la kasi peluang sebab mungkin diorang ikut anak-anak berhijrah. Yang muda-mudi ni. Haish~

Aku tahu tentang isu walaupun tak boleh berbahasa Inggeris, seseorang tetap boleh maju. Banyak peniaga di sini pun yang bukan orang NZ. Boleh saja untuk hidup. Tapi kalau kita nak menetap di satu negara tersebut, haruslah tahu bahasanya atau sekurang-kurangya tahu lingua franca, yang mana selalunya bahasa Inggeris. Penting kot komunikasi ni~

Itu hanya pendapat aku lah kan.

Lagi yang aku tak setuju, bilamana kanak-kanak muda dari negara luar di hantar ke NZ untuk belajar. Kononnya, sistem pendidikan di NZ sangat bagus dan cemerlang. Itu bukan isunya,baguslah kot sistem pendidikan tersebut.

Isu yang aku hairankan ialah sanggup makbapak kanak-kanak tersebut habiskan wang juta-juta untuk hantar kanak-kanak ini jauh-jauh demi tuntut ilmu. Belajar bahasa Inggeris. Belajar pelbagai ilmu. Selalunya, mereka akan dihantar seorang diri (tanpa keluarga dan akan tinggal di homestays) pada usia muda. Bagi aku, sesetengah kanak-kanak ini terlampau muda. Tak boleh beza baik buruk lagi.

Sesetengahnya pula terlampau kaya. Spesis bodoh sombong. Aku tak kisah kalau yang datang jauh-jauh, hantar dengan wang jutaan ringgit jika kanak-kanak ini betul-betul rajin belajar. Sanggup bersusah payah dan mencari ilmu. Ini tidak, dengan sombongnya, bodoh lagi, memang mintak penampar. Ini bukan semua la. Yang tertentu saja. Membazir saja wang juta-juta kalau apa cikgu ajar kau tak amik peduli dan apa cikgu suruh kau tak patuh. Itu aku kurang peduli - gasak kau lah!

Aku lebih pentingkan tentang yang kanak-kanak ribena yang sepatutnya riang ini. Apabila minda-minda muda ini dihantar ke NZ, mereka memang kebanyakannya memang fresh mindanya. Hantar dengan bahasa Inggeris yang hampir zero levelnya. Tahap kematangan pun rendah yang amat. Kalau betul pun NZ ni bagus sangat sistem pendidikannya, takkan lah hantar kanak-kanak ini begitu sahaja. Muda sangat plak tuh.

Aku simpulkan, kalau mereka ni betul-betul muda, mereka macam belum boleh lihat keberkesanan atau pengorbanan makbapak mereka lakukan semata-mata nak beri peluang untuk anak-anak belajar di luar negara. Mungkin tunggu mature sedikit baru hantar ke negara yang asing kepangkuan orang yang tak dikenali.

Sedangkan aku yang ke NZ pada umur 21 pun meraung dan menangis, inikan pula kanak-kanak hingusan tersebut.

Sunday, October 4

Malam ni HR akan jadi Mr Hyde lagi.

Aku rasa tahap kerabunan aku makin parah. Tapi aku sangat tidak gemar memakai alat bantuan penglihatan tersebut. Aku tak suka rasa dependent kepada perkara sebegitu. Ini kerana aku malas untuk membawanya ke mana-mana.

Aku mendapati sangat sukar untuk aku nampak slides show lecturers tanpa alat bantuan penglihatan yang mana aku sentiasa tertinggal. Aku juga jarang nampak jikamana ada orang yang melambai dari kejauhan. Aku akan kecikkan mata aku sekecik-keciknya untuk fokus. Melihat siapa gerangan yang melambai. Kepada aku kah?

Haish, dah la aku tak berapa kenal orang.

Mahu alat bantuan baru. Yang lebih glamour. Yang mana aku takkan tinggalkan dan sentiasa pakai.

p/s: Klik sini untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut tentang sindrom Jekyll and Hyde HR.
p/p/s: Malam ni ada konsert NOFX dan Bad Religion di Auckland

Thursday, October 1

Audience of One

Dari Diari Seorang Acap

Sangat senang untuk bercakap
Sangat susah untuk berkata

Sangat senang untuk melihat
Sangat susah untuk memandang

Sangat senang untuk berjalan
Sangat susah untuk melangkah

Sangat senang untuk membuat
Sangat susah untuk mengekalkan

Sangat senang untuk menangis
Sangat susah untuk menyesali

Sangat senag dan sangat susah
Itulah dunia yang penuh dengan senang dan susah
Kita yang menghuninya
mengisinya dengan 'sangat'.


I just thought it was well said.

p/s: HR hasn't being romantic in a while.