HR kata,
tak sms bukannya bermaksud tak sayang.
tak call bukannya bermaksud tak rindu.
2 sms sehari tak bermakna sayang tu makin kurang.
hanya call waktu rakyat New Zealand mengulit mimpi tak bermakna apa-apa.
waktu hanyalah nombor
nombor hanya frekuensi katanya.
frekuensi tak beri apa-apa erti.
sayang tetap sayang.
sayang tak pernah berubah.
dia kata lagi,
dah dua tahun saling sayang, takkan terus berhenti.


dan..
aku terus membisu.
tak banyak yang boleh dibalas.
jika itulah penjelasan.
satu lagi alasan.

no tittle. just frustation

hurt.truth.tears.pain.wound.damage.apology.
effortless.ache.excuses.soreness.unacceptable.
fake.cover.lie.improper.shred.defense.reality.
easy.false.forgive.always.

What ever happen to Dawson's Creek's hero?

One of HR's gifts for me on my 21st birthday was Dawson's Creek DVD box set of the two earlier seasons. I watched it non-top with Ain and we fell in love with Joshua Jackson playing Pacey's character. He is the bad boy but romantic inside and protective towrds girlfreind.

The series is one of the pioneer of tv series about loveydovey and teen's stuff. Kalo tgk nowadays, mmg lame gile la.

Oh, I always wonder whatever happen to the main character of the series., w know where Katie Holmes is, so what happen to James Van Der Beek who played Dawson in Dawson's Creek.

So, within these two days, he muncul in my laptop twice. Once, smalam when I was watching How I Met Your Mother S2 as RObin's ex-crush. And today, in One Tree Hill S6 as screenwriter utk filem Lucas Scott.

Now I know where he is.

He is still not handsome to me.



~paperheart~

Spending Expenditure

Earlier this morning, I had an argument with HR. nothing new there. we are always quarreling. or u can just say, I am always mad or screaming at him.

As a result of that, I cancel the surprise parcel that I want to deliver to him. Also cancel the boquet of flowers for his coming 21st birthday. (Jimat duit aku.)

Apart from that, I went to Victoria Market to dine out and spend money on myself. Bought jeweleries and souvenir. Then, took a bus. Tour around Auckland for almost an hour and only to stop at Queen St where I bought a set of Monopoly board game, shirts and beach mat.

Oh, how I spent when I am pissed.


~paperheart~

my accomplishment ~ setakat ini~

• i succeeded in teaching two persons to swim. kan? kan? bangga kan berguru kan beta?

• i finished reading two books. both chick lit and action/horor

• i finished my second bottle of lotion of the year

• i p gym semalam selama 20 minit. (sekali tu je la)
  

cupcake test

What Your Cupcake Says About You

At parties, you tend to be a social butterfly. You enjoy making conversation and making sure everyone is having fun. You have absolutely no restraint in your life. You live life with reckless abandon. The most important thing in your life is fun. You are dominant, vain, and a bit of a show off. To know you is to worship you.

The Cupcake Test

hari aktifku

hari ni adalah hari paling aktif untuk diriku. walaubagaimanapun, hibernasi tetap berlaku sebelum itu.

pergi gym di tingkat bawah. naik *mendaalah tu selama 20 minit. peluh menitik2. dalam sebuk menggunakan mendaalah itu, aku rasa seram jugak. gym tingkat b1. dekat area buang2 sampah, parking kereta, tingkat basement kot. seram ok, sorang2 kat bwah itu. dengan muka serabai. tapi saya suka kerana rasa diri ini berfungsi seketika.

petang sket, pergi mandi kolam. kolam yang dalam dan luas. oh, free jugak. rasa seronok dapat berenang2. bergurau senda. berendam2. berenang berirama. bergediks2. bergumbira. kemudian, ke jakuzi dan ke sauna. oh, sungguh bahagia.

malam sket, masak2. makan2. tonton2. dan menulis.

dan hari ini adalah hari gembira yang berpeluh.

*mendaalah = mesin di gym utk bersenam yang aku tatau nama scientific nya

~paperheart~

hati tertawan

pikah telah berjaya mempengaruhi aku untuk tonton coffee prince. drama bersiri korea yang sangat panjang dan memeningkan. tapi mereka semua sangat comel dan jambu. baru ku tau, kejambuan ini yang hijrah suka rupanye!! patutla ~

it started off just as she just relaxing herself after a hard day work with her laptop and her korean drama in the living room. with her cooking and me just loitering around her longing for human companion. as she cooks, (i ate and) i watch it with her and asking this and that. ~ who is this guy? why is he like that? wow, such a long leg. lengchai a~

esok2 nya, aku yang semak nak switch on laptop beliau. (ketika beliau di tempat kerja) nak tgk lelaki itu dan perempuan itu. drama korea yang panjang dan memeningkan itu.

damn~ aku telah addicted.

~paperheart~

cuci gamba

when i said i decorated my room earlier, one of the ways is by putting up picture collage. while i was putting it up last night, i realized, i have more pictures of my friends than my family. this is usually not a problem. i mean, i dont really care. i do love my family, regardless of less photos. among all this photos, mostly is yours truly and HR. that is not a good thing since my family is coming to town. i decided that night i need to develop more pictures to balance the collage. my mom will fuss over stuff like that. more HR than her. more friends than family. so i selected 'appropriate' pictures among the pictures that i love. and it cost me $6.09.
and i am a happy daughter.
i hope my mom will be to when she sees it.

~paperheart~

my hibernation hole

since my two housemates are always out 'mencari rezeki', im kinda stuck at home. alone. so i decided to decorate my hole. my very own hibernation hole. which is of course my room. i have decorated it pleasantly. wit pictures. an colours. i place my important necesseties nearby so i that i dont have to move much from my bed. my bed is very comfy with five pillows and two soft toys. cheerful warmth duvet. laptop full with movies. books that i love on one side. my handphone that receives the world news. my food pile. my plain water. my drawer that is full with lotion and baby powder. my desk lamp that do not require me to move to switch it on. the door that i can use my very own leg to close it. the internet is functioning with hassle-free. i do not need to crawl out from my hole if i dont want to.

its fun here in my hole.
my hibernation hole.

~paperheart~

gaga - taggie - gee - tug - taa

once upon a time, cik ixora tag aku.


take a recent photo of yourself OR take a picture of yourself RIGHT NOW.

* DON'T change your cloth. DON'T fix your hair, just take a picture.

* Post that picture with NO editing.

* post this instruction with your picture.

* Tag 10 people to do this.



this is a recent as it gets.


Date: November 15th 2008
Location: Piha Beach, Auckland
Ocassion: Summer Picnic
Photographer: Dyau
Camera: Mine


i wanna tag
arifah
helmi
fatin
mard
hijrah
ati

boleh?


~paperheart~

my new house

i just moved in to a new house wif min and pkah.
it was tiring. it was one hell of a day.

the house is full with boxes we barely able to move around.

my two housemates are always out working.
my neighbours are creepily over friendly.

no bus station nearby.
it is always noisy with cars and lorries sounds.

~paperheart~

im depressed

i wish summer ends quickly this year.

infatuation

after the exam, i got all the time in the world. to do anything i want. oh, i just dont have all money in the world. especially now that i am not working anymore.

with all the time that i have, i cant stop my mind from thinking. and when i think, i scanned my life, i scrutinize every inch of my wish and my fear. sometimes, with my thought i started to hate everybody. i started to feel like i am a victim. i tend to blame everyone else.

wateva~

there are also stuff that i know i shouldn't do but i still do it. i couldn't stop myself from doing it. maybe i can, maybe i just dont want to.

wateva~

im crapping.
blabbing

~paperheart~

things i do for him

I don’t know why I chose that path at that time of the day. Nah, who do I wanna bluff? I know the reason clearly. I wanna meet him. Nope, not to say hi, I just wanna see him. Glance at him.
I know that is his route to go to work. And I know he’ll be walking there at that time of the day. And I waited. With my big sunglasses on my nose. Disguised in my green shirt in the bush.
And, I see him.
And, I am officially a stalker.
Of course he did not notice me. Duh~

~paperheart~

i hate to say it

i think i have mentioned earlier, i prefer not to do stuff that i dont like people do to me. I emphasize here, I prefer. sometimes, i did it but i rather not.
it hurts. i know it hurts people when i do it, why do i need to do it to others?

in another way, i also hate it when people do what they said they hate others do.
mcm menjilat ludah sendiri.

*imagine, ur fren saying to you, "tengok si A, suka sangat pakai boot lima inchi dengan baju kurung. disgusting." oh, ia disertai dengan mimik muka nyah, ok? later, u saw ur fren doing it. the whole five inches boot with baju kurung. what say you?

plus, what will this situation say about your friend? mcm menjilat ludah sendiri kan? kan?

i have a few friends who are like that~ then again, maybe i am also like that. but i seriously wanna go and say to their faces, "ahah! look what we have here. i tot u said .. "

then again, i dont like bitching and pointing out people faults to their faces. both, hurtful and humiliating. still, i know i have mentioned earlier, i prefer not to do stuff that i dont like people do to me.

*kisah ini rekaan, maybe chantek je boot with baju kurung. who knows?

~paperheart~

jangan menoleh

dzeti penat.
penat fikir tentang duit.. cukupkah?
penat cuba selesaikan tentang kediaman.. manakah?
penat fikir tentang periksa.. berjayakah?
penat cuba mementingkan orang lain dari diri sendiri.. bergunakah?
penat fikir tentang summer school.. perlukah?
penat cuba jadi yang terbaik.. pernahkah?
penat mengemis kasih sayang.. tak malukah?
penat mengemas bilik yang tak berhenti bersepah.. berbaloikah?
penat meyakinkan diri.. percayakah?
penat mencari yang mungkin akan mengerti.. wujudkah?
penat menyeru kekasih jangan pergi.. mungkinkah?
penat meyalahkan diri sendiri.. mampukah?

penat amat.
mengertikah?
pergilah~



~paperheart~

fakta menarik

today i met a person who doesn't know Oprah ~ it's quite interesting~



~paperheart~

my wish

I wish there will never come to a day when I see my dad cry and crumble in front of me.

He is my hero. He is the man I look up to. He is the man who has all the answers to every questions in the world. He is my savior, my knight in shining armor.

I would never want to see my dad shed tears. For whatever reason. It would be too heartbreaking for me. My hero should always stand tall. Strong and powerful.

I hope he will always be the tough man in the family.
I hope I will never do anything to make him less than he is.

~paperheart~