Sunday, December 28

i dun think i need to eloborate on this frightful and dreadful moment of my life


Meet Mr. Pisang.
My very own GREEN doggie.

He is adorable.
He never talks back.
He is cute.

He is hugable.

He is loyal.
He stays in the hole with me.
He is shy.

I know that I vowed to myself never to buy anymore soft toys. Coz I am no longer a kiddie. Plus, I have tons of them back at home. But, when I saw him in the Warehouse, he was screaming my name wanting to go home with me. And I couldn't resist him.

Next thing I know I am hugging him in my room.

I dont know if he is coming back with me to Malaysia or not. But I do hope he will.

p/s: I am amazed with people that can play boomerang. It so cool to be able to make that thing come back to you and catch it.

Saturday, December 27

So, you think you love me?

I was listening to Death Cab of Cutie.
It is a band.
One of HR's favourite.
The song that I am listening to was What Sarah Said.
I am always triggered to listen to the song as the title is so intriguing.
The lyric touch me.
Like any other lyrics would.

"But I’m thinking of what Sarah said

That love is watching someone die..."

So, who is gonna watch me die?

maternal instinct

As I recall, since I've been in NZ, I haven't touch a baby once, as in there are no babies around to squeeze out their cuteness or just to hold. There are no one close enough to me with babies. My point here is, I miss babies. Not mine. Just babies, in general.

I used to hate babies when I was teenager. I admit they are adorable but I am not the type who would hold them and play peek-a-boo like any other girls that would just drop everything when encountered with babies.

There are many cute babies in NZ. They are super cuter as they have blonder hair and bluer or greener eyes compared to Malaysian babies. Still, I cant just simply touch 'em.

OK, that's is just an intro to my entry

Being a mother is not easy. From the pregnancy to giving birth to breastfeeding to raising the child. This is just based on observation and not experience. But mothers go through this difficult and painful phases just for their child.

One of many mother's wishes is to see their child grow up healthily and they NEVER ever want to go through the process of burying their own child before them. No mother ever wish this for anyone.

All I am trying to say, it is painful to see your child going through pain and soreness and they would do everything in their power to prevent that. They would nag, nag and continue nagging just to remind you of the DO and DON'T in one's life.

That is just maternal instinct.

Christmas celebration

On the 22nd of December, John Hope, one of our lecturers held a mini-feast for us who are staying behind in Auckland. It was so delicious and super stomach filing. Plus, his son is so cute. Dont get me start about his house which I adore so so much. His garden at the back is connected to the Cornwall Park. How cool is that!

Sheryll took all of us to the Cornwall Park, which me, Min and Pkah didnt go because of yours truly attire is so not for trekking around the park.

They claimed that Sheryll tookthem to the highest peak of the park. Later, John went about the NZ's style of Christmas tradition . We played Christmas Cracker, which was fun. We wore crown and answered a few riddles. Oh, the best part of all, we ATE!!

the delicious salmon that Andrew smoked

the other yummy food

ahh ~ the dessert

"Merry Christmas"

from yours truly

Wednesday, December 24

Quote of the day

there are plenty of ways to die,
we need to figure out ways to live
(from the movie the brave one)

Tuesday, December 23

no more goodbyes

Just today, i sent my family to the airport. They are on going back to Malaysia after spending 24 days with me in New Zealand.

That's two goodbyes for my loved ones within 6 weeks. That's more than anyone can handle.
It is tiring forcing tears to stop streaming down from my precious eyes.

Handling the emotion was never easy for me. Before I sent the rental car, I stopped at Foodtown buying lotsa comfort food and unnecessary stuff. That includes pastries, chocolates, magazines and milk. After that, went to JB Hifi, bought myself my favourite sitcom 'The Nanny' season 2.

Reached home, looking at the human-empty house, the tears starting to flow again. Ate laksa that mama cooked for me. Then, I saw the asam pedas and sambal ikan bilis that mama cooked also especially for me, the tears just flow as freely.

The only thing that I can think of at that time is to hurt my other body part so that my heart wont ache as much. At least I feel other pain. Not emotional pain. Stupid idea, I know. So the heart continue aching

Tuesday, December 16

sampaikan pesanan ini

tolong beritahu dia,
tentang bicara hati sepi,
sayang mungkin berhenti,
rindu takkan mucul lagi,
jika berterusan begini.

tolong beritahu dia,
jiwa ini tak teguh,
perasaan ini tak utuh,
bila-bila boleh roboh.

tolong beritahu dia,
tiada saksi tika janji,
sumpah yang tiada bukti,
terlerai jika tidak diawasi.

Sunday, December 14

Quotes of the day

  • Identical is not similar
  • jiwang itu benda yang aku xbrapa nk paham (mard, 2008)
  • 10% of man je xcheat (fatin, 2008)

Saturday, December 13

I want to talk about books

There are just a few books that I love reading over and over again and never ever got bored by them. Books that will still make me laugh or cry even for the fifth or more time I read it. It's just simply too mesmerizing. This kinda books I would treasure and never let go.

It is always the storyline that touch my heart. Sometimes, a few lines of the books are enough to win my heart. There are times when I would even memorize the lines, if it's so sweet.

The books is just so sweet.

I even forced HR to read this book as I love it so much

There are, of course, books that people like and recommended to me that just do not appeal me at all. I never seems to like the books that others might think so sweet and great. I know we all have different definition of sweet and what we like.

Sunday, December 7

cupcake comel

last nite, me and my two brothers make cupcakes. superdelicious. we play around decorating with the icing. (masing2 nak hias letak nama awek)

having them around is a blast. ada je lawak2 sengal. but the BESTest part is U R their sister and you can bullied them around by asking them to do lotsa stuff including carrying et moi shopping bag.

mom is sick a few days earlier. too cold even in summer. the boys run happily without any sweater on their back while my mom is dress like a winter altogether with a sarung tangan. ciyyan die.

oh, i have a busy day and night entertaining them.
and i love every second of it

Tuesday, December 2


the other day when I was waiting for my family at the airport, i saw many reunion of family that was very sweet that I almost cry. oh, so touchy~

my family are here now but my mom is having flu. I am busy taking time around the ever famous Auckland city. I am so happy that they are here.

I hope it never ends

Saturday, November 29

HR kata,
tak sms bukannya bermaksud tak sayang.
tak call bukannya bermaksud tak rindu.
2 sms sehari tak bermakna sayang tu makin kurang.
hanya call waktu rakyat New Zealand mengulit mimpi tak bermakna apa-apa.
waktu hanyalah nombor
nombor hanya frekuensi katanya.
frekuensi tak beri apa-apa erti.
sayang tetap sayang.
sayang tak pernah berubah.
dia kata lagi,
dah dua tahun saling sayang, takkan terus berhenti.

aku terus membisu.

tak banyak yang boleh dibalas.
jika itulah penjelasan.
satu lagi alasan.

Friday, November 28

no tittle. just frustation


Wednesday, November 26

What ever happen to Dawson's Creek's hero?

One of HR's gifts for me on my 21st birthday was Dawson's Creek DVD box set of the two earlier seasons. I watched it non-top with Ain and we fell in love with Joshua Jackson playing Pacey's character. He is the bad boy but romantic inside and protective towrds girlfreind.

The series is one of the pioneer of tv series about loveydovey and teen's stuff. Kalo tgk nowadays, mmg lame gile la.

Oh, I always wonder whatever happen to the main character of the series., w know where Katie Holmes is, so what happen to James Van Der Beek who played Dawson in Dawson's Creek.

So, within these two days, he muncul in my laptop twice. Once, smalam when I was watching How I Met Your Mother S2 as RObin's ex-crush. And today, in One Tree Hill S6 as screenwriter utk filem Lucas Scott.

Now I know where he is.

He is still not handsome to me.


Spending Expenditure

Earlier this morning, I had an argument with HR. nothing new there. we are always quarreling. or u can just say, I am always mad or screaming at him.
As a result of that, I cancel the surprise parcel that I want to deliver to him. Also cancel the boquet of flowers for his coming 21st birthday. (Jimat duit aku.)
Apart from that, I went to Victoria Market to dine out and spend money on myself. Bought jeweleries and souvenir. Then, took a bus. Tour around Auckland for almost an hour and only to stop at Queen St where I bought a set of Monopoly board game, shirts and beach mat.
Oh, how I spent when I am pissed.


Sunday, November 23

my accomplishment ~ setakat ini~

  • i succeeded in teaching two persons to swim. kan? kan? bangga kan berguru kan beta?

  • i finished reading two books. both chick lit and action/horor

  • i finished my second bottle of lotion of the year

  • i p gym semalam selama 20 minit. (sekali tu je la)

cupcake test

What Your Cupcake Says About You

At parties, you tend to be a social butterfly. You enjoy making conversation and making sure everyone is having fun.

You have absolutely no restraint in your life. You live life with reckless abandon.

The most important thing in your life is fun.

You are dominant, vain, and a bit of a show off. To know you is to worship you.

Saturday, November 22

hari aktifku

hari ni adalah hari paling aktif untuk diriku. walaubagaimanapun, hibernasi tetap berlaku sebelum itu.

pergi gym di tingkat bawah. naik *mendaalah tu selama 20 minit. peluh menitik2. dalam sebuk menggunakan mendaalah itu, aku rasa seram jugak. gym tingkat b1. dekat area buang2 sampah, parking kereta, tingkat basement kot. seram ok, sorang2 kat bwah itu. dengan muka serabai. tapi saya suka kerana rasa diri ini berfungsi seketika.

petang sket, pergi mandi kolam. kolam yang dalam dan luas. oh, free jugak. rasa seronok dapat berenang2. bergurau senda. berendam2. berenang berirama. bergediks2. bergumbira. kemudian, ke jakuzi dan ke sauna. oh, sungguh bahagia.

malam sket, masak2. makan2. tonton2. dan menulis.

dan hari ini adalah hari gembira yang berpeluh.

*mendaalah = mesin di gym utk bersenam yang aku tatau nama scientific nya


hati tertawan

pikah telah berjaya mempengaruhi aku untuk tonton coffee prince. drama bersiri korea yang sangat panjang dan memeningkan. tapi mereka semua sangat comel dan jambu. baru ku tau, kejambuan ini yang hijrah suka rupanye!! patutla ~

it started off just as she just relaxing herself after a hard day work with her laptop and her korean drama in the living room. with her cooking and me just loitering around her longing for human companion. as she cooks, (i ate and) i watch it with her and asking this and that. ~ who is this guy? why is he like that? wow, such a long leg. lengchai a~

esok2 nya, aku yang semak nak switch on laptop beliau. (ketika beliau di tempat kerja) nak tgk lelaki itu dan perempuan itu. drama korea yang panjang dan memeningkan itu.

damn~ aku telah addicted.


Thursday, November 20

cuci gamba

when i said i decorated my room earlier, one of the ways is by putting up picture collage. while i was putting it up last night, i realized, i have more pictures of my friends than my family. this is usually not a problem. i mean, i dont really care. i do love my family, regardless of less photos. among all this photos, mostly is yours truly and HR. that is not a good thing since my family is coming to town. i decided that night i need to develop more pictures to balance the collage. my mom will fuss over stuff like that. more HR than her. more friends than family. so i selected 'appropriate' pictures among the pictures that i love. and it cost me $6.09.
and i am a happy daughter.
i hope my mom will be to when she sees it.


my hibernation hole

since my two housemates are always out 'mencari rezeki', im kinda stuck at home. alone. so i decided to decorate my hole. my very own hibernation hole. which is of course my room. i have decorated it pleasantly. wit pictures. an colours. i place my important necesseties nearby so i that i dont have to move much from my bed. my bed is very comfy with five pillows and two soft toys. cheerful warmth duvet. laptop full with movies. books that i love on one side. my handphone that receives the world news. my food pile. my plain water. my drawer that is full with lotion and baby powder. my desk lamp that do not require me to move to switch it on. the door that i can use my very own leg to close it. the internet is functioning with hassle-free. i do not need to crawl out from my hole if i dont want to.

its fun here in my hole.
my hibernation hole.


Wednesday, November 19

gaga - taggie - gee - tug - taa

once upon a time, cik ixora tag aku.

take a recent photo of yourself OR take a picture of yourself RIGHT NOW.

* DON'T change your cloth. DON'T fix your hair, just take a picture.

* Post that picture with NO editing.

* post this instruction with your picture.

* Tag 10 people to do this.

this is a recent as it gets.

Date: November 15th 2008
Location: Piha Beach, Auckland
Ocassion: Summer Picnic
Photographer: Dyau
Camera: Mine

i wanna tag



my new house

i just moved in to a new house wif min and pkah.
it was tiring. it was one hell of a day.

the house is full with boxes we barely able to move around.

my two housemates are always out working.
my neighbours are creepily over friendly.

no bus station nearby.
it is always noisy with cars and lorries sounds.


Tuesday, November 18

im depressed

i wish summer ends quickly this year.

Friday, November 14


after the exam, i got all the time in the world. to do anything i want. oh, i just dont have all money in the world. especially now that i am not working anymore.

with all the time that i have, i cant stop my mind from thinking. and when i think, i scanned my life, i scrutinize every inch of my wish and my fear. sometimes, with my thought i started to hate everybody. i started to feel like i am a victim. i tend to blame everyone else.

there are also stuff that i know i shouldn't do but i still do it. i couldn't stop myself from doing it. maybe i can, maybe i just dont want to.

im crapping.


things i do for him

I don’t know why I chose that path at that time of the day. Nah, who do I wanna bluff? I know the reason clearly. I wanna meet him. Nope, not to say hi, I just wanna see him. Glance at him.
I know that is his route to go to work. And I know he’ll be walking there at that time of the day. And I waited. With my big sunglasses on my nose. Disguised in my green shirt in the bush.
And, I see him.
And, I am officially a stalker.
Of course he did not notice me. Duh~


Friday, November 7

i hate to say it

i think i have mentioned earlier, i prefer not to do stuff that i dont like people do to me. I emphasize here, I prefer. sometimes, i did it but i rather not.
it hurts. i know it hurts people when i do it, why do i need to do it to others?

in another way, i also hate it when people do what they said they hate others do.
mcm menjilat ludah sendiri.

*imagine, ur fren saying to you, "tengok si A, suka sangat pakai boot lima inchi dengan baju kurung. disgusting." oh, ia disertai dengan mimik muka nyah, ok? later, u saw ur fren doing it. the whole five inches boot with baju kurung. what say you?

plus, what will this situation say about your friend? mcm menjilat ludah sendiri kan? kan?

i have a few friends who are like that~ then again, maybe i am also like that. but i seriously wanna go and say to their faces, "ahah! look what we have here. i tot u said .. "

then again, i dont like bitching and pointing out people faults to their faces. both, hurtful and humiliating. still, i know i have mentioned earlier, i prefer not to do stuff that i dont like people do to me.

*kisah ini rekaan, maybe chantek je boot with baju kurung. who knows?


Wednesday, November 5

jangan menoleh

dzeti penat.
penat fikir tentang duit.. cukupkah?
penat cuba selesaikan tentang kediaman.. manakah?
penat fikir tentang periksa.. berjayakah?
penat cuba mementingkan orang lain dari diri sendiri.. bergunakah?
penat fikir tentang summer school.. perlukah?
penat cuba jadi yang terbaik.. pernahkah?
penat mengemis kasih sayang.. tak malukah?
penat mengemas bilik yang tak berhenti bersepah.. berbaloikah?
penat meyakinkan diri.. percayakah?
penat mencari yang mungkin akan mengerti.. wujudkah?
penat menyeru kekasih jangan pergi.. mungkinkah?
penat meyalahkan diri sendiri.. mampukah?

penat amat.


fakta menarik

today i met a person who doesn't know Oprah ~ it's quite interesting~


Saturday, November 1

my wish

I wish there will never come to a day when I see my dad cry and crumble in front of me.

He is my hero. He is the man I look up to. He is the man who has all the answers to every questions in the world. He is my savior, my knight in shining armor.

I would never want to see my dad shed tears. For whatever reason. It would be too heartbreaking for me. My hero should always stand tall. Strong and powerful.

I hope he will always be the tough man in the family.
I hope I will never do anything to make him less than he is.


Friday, October 31

wanna do soul searching

Since the painful incident, HR keeps asking me questions about hukum-hakam agama.
There are some questions that I can answer brilliantly. There are some that makes me ponder for a while. Others, I don't know the answer at all.
Then I thought, I am so unaware.

Sometimes, he also asks about afterlife. I realized my answers are clouded with the English movies that I've watched. Most of the time, I am never sure with my answers and just say, maybe.

I feel like I'm in need of change and soul searching~


hidup bermasyarakat

I remembered since i was a little girl my mom keep nurturing me about living in a community. Everything must be in accordance. Or else, what might others think.
At first, I was like, who cares what the neighbours think?

Still, when it comes to going to a feast in the neighbourhood, of course I'll go. It's free food, meh. but when it came to the part that will need me to mingle, especially with old people (mom's friends), i got shy. I am always shy~
I spoke when was spoken to. But I did attend the ceremony. Regardless how boring. How I know no one. (This is a requirement when you are the only daughter and you are your mom's sidekick) I did recite the Yassin when needed, helped clean out when asked, stand when there was no seat available for older people.

My mom never let our garbage melimpah until near the road.(melimpah dengan ranting2 pkok bunga atau daun, if you know my house, you know my mom's obsession with gardening) Sweep our part of the road. Cut the grass on our side. All those little things that people like would say, yeah. whatever. My mom made it a priority.

Living in a country will countable Malaysian, and no elder, wiser Malaysian people, hidup bermasyarakat becomes very crucial. Of course, Kiwis never care, you can go to class with no slipper, come to dinner with pink spiky hair or even come naked. Kiwis wont care. We, Malaysian only have each other. We fake smile to cherish this hidup bermasyarakat. After all, our comunity is small. If we fight among one another, there no longer will be 'we'. Just either you or me.

HR lost his dearest sister the other day. I realized that community is very important. We need each other to be strong. For HR, you know Ill be with you.

Thus, attend every event you are invited to and fake smiles when needed. You dont need to like the person. Be there for one another when needed. Help out if you can. Obey the leader when their are right, correct when they are wrong. Our leader represent who we are.


Tuesday, October 28

tag - gee - tug - tee

diriku telah ditag oleh beliau ----> Ixora, teman seperjuanganku zaman kanak2 ribena

1. When was the last time you ran?

To avoid the rain you mean? oh every two days here in auckland.

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears and holes in them?

Intentional one you mean? Nope~

3. What are you dreading right now?

Now? Cohort 3 party. My mom's arrival.

4. Do you celebrate 4/20?

Do I know what that is?

5. When was the last time you saw your significant other?

I hope there will never be a last time!

6. Do you get the full eight hours of sleep every night?

If u include the day time is 8 hours

7. What is your favorite current song?

My favourite song is not current ~ Fantasia Bulan Madu ~

8. If anyone came to your house on your lazy days, what would you do?

Entertain them like I always do.

9. Who last grabbed your ass?

Who dare?

10. Have you ever been in your school’s band?

Nah~ was born tone deaf

11. Do you own a pair of Converse?


12. Did you copy and paste this survey?

Tak syiok la~

13. Do you eat raw cookie dough?

Only if it is tasy. It usually is since I did it.

14. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?

Of course. And it hurt like hell.

15. Do you hate it when a radio ruins a song by playing a slow one after it?

Radio is rare technology for me.

16. Do you watch Trading Places?

Apa itu?

17. Have you ever stayed on line a long time waiting for someone?

Duh~ erm, yes.

18. Are you ‘cocky’?

Tak paham. But I am cute. HR said so~

19. Could you live without a computer?

Been there done that. I am alive aren't I?

20. Do you wear your shoes in the house?


21. At what age did you find out Santa was not real?

Sejak lahir. I guess I was born smart~~

22. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are there in your home?

this house? 5 cellphones

23. What do you do when you are sad?

I force HR to symphatize, regardless

24. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?


25. Last time you saw your best friend?

Still, hoping there will never be the last time.

26. Who, or What sleeps with you?

My duvet~

27. Are you still in High School?

Nope. I do look like o

28. Is anyone on your bad side now?

Hope not.

29. What jewelry are you wearing now?


30. What is the first thing that you do when you get on line?

my email

31. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?

Used to. Not anymore. no more addison

32. Would you ever wear a boy/girlfriends clothes?

Of course

33. Where do you work?

If shopping is considered as working, Queen St.

34. What are you doing on Friday?

Next Friday?

35. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?

Do I look like I care?

36. Favorite name for a girl?


37. Favorite name for a boy?


38. Will you keep your own name when you get married?

I loike my name. HR likes it too

39. When was the last time you left your house?

Like the last 30 minutes.

40. Do you return your cart (I assume trolley)?

Kite guna bakul je.

41. Do you have a dishwasher?


42. What noise do you hear?

Britney Spears is not a noise


another raya picture

the picture is made by my brother. dengan comelnye
my mom dgn susah payah email me the picture and her subject was written in capital letter,


btw, nina tuh, yours truly la.

oh sungguh terharu.

n today is my mom's birthday.


Sunday, October 26

gone has my days

im thinking hard to write something meaningful here. you know, after a while not writing blog, i deserve to write meaningful stuff that makes people ponder about it. damn~ my mind gone blank.
so, ill update you with my hectic life so far.

last nite we held a diva party and it was a blast.
last nite acap returned my laptop fully functioning.

yesterday went to view two houses
yesterday went to eat a delicious food

the day before submitted my Phono's assignment
the day before held meeting for presentation

before that, i forgot.

but it was a hectic week.

this following week supposed to be a study week. I am supposed to relax first because my exam is on the 3rd week.

not for me. i got another assignment to submit. another presentation to do. another party to held and ensure it to be a great success.


Thursday, October 16

updating today

Today is Thursday. I dont have class on Thursday. Thursday is my hibernation day.
I have a lot of assignments. I also have uncountable lots of laziness.

Today, I send my precious thing to the repair shop. I mean HR send it. I supervise him through the phone. My precious thing is so screwed up even Intan cannot help me. That repairing will cost me money. It is beyond help and of course it will cost me money beyondly.

Hijrah lend me her VAIO. I am so super cautious using it. Scary meh~ New expensive laptop. I am thankful for it though. Apparently is my HD, so any attempts to do assignments are not taken.

Today, I involunatarily clean out HR's closest. Then, he belanja me SUSHI. I loike~

Today, I think I am gonna cook Tom Yam.



Last Monday, I discovered that the guy that I have / had crush on, just got a new girlfriend.
That particular girl is my closest friend's friend. I am not particularly jealous. But I really dislike it. In a way, I know that I wont approach the guy, ever, ever. Still, I want him to be single, to be mine. Then again, he has his needs. MAN! I hope he is happy with the girl. I know I am a better girlfriend than she will ever be. (You can ask HR for reference) I will be a great girlfriend to him. His lost.


Wednesday, October 15

kesayanganku telah mati dan mungkin hidup kembali tanpa memori yang menjadikannya milikku

kepada sesiapa yang mempedulikan diriku pacal yang hina ini, ketahuilah komputer riba milikku telah rosak secara tiba2 tanpa ku sempat menyimpan dokumen yang penting.
aku kini telah ketiadaan beliau. Kehidupan ku kini bergantung kepada belas kasihan rakan sekeliling dan juga komputer di perpustakaan.

walaubgaimnapun, diri ini masih bersyukur kerana pagi itu tergerak hati nurani ini untuk 'save' assignment 225 yang separa jalan itu. rasa bersyukur tak terhingga.

aku menangis tak berlagu


Tuesday, October 14

Summer School

I've been thinking about doing summer school for a while now. At one point, I even decided not to enroll and just spend my summer hanging around doing absolutely nothing and feeling free of any kind of obligations. Then, I snapped out of it and continue hunting for what course should I enroll in.

So, my version of GREAT COURSE that i should enroll has these characteristics:
  • no EXAM
  • in the morning
  • not everyday
  • EASY PEEZY course
Still, I do have the feeling of pursuing towards something not doing with language / writing / grammar / words / literature and tries something with number / calculation / percentage like Maths maybe or Statistics. I have this huge fear of not able to cope well with these kinda subject. After all, it had been a while. Like '3-4 years' while.

Regardless of the characteristics and fear, I shortlisted these as my choices.

  • Language Teaching 102 (no exam & stage one paper, i loike)
  • ESOL 201 - Writing (no exam, sick of writing thingie)
  • Stats 101 (EXAM - dah ushar papernya - objective)
  • Maths 101 (EXAM - ada essay Q)
  • Philosophy 150 - Critical Thinking (Exam tapi mcm Senang)

So, there are my final candidates, nothing for sure yet.


Monday, October 13

stuff yang tak best jika berlaku pada diri sendiri

baju sama. pi majlis grand. pakai baju liplap. tiba2 ada pelanduk 2 serupa. pakai sebijik baju yang di badan. kecik dunia ni eh~

bersin tak lepas
. Oh MAN! tak tahu macam mana nak describe perasaan tersebut. dah ada feel nak bersin dah, tapi dia tanak keluar. rasa tersangkut satu beban kat hidung. Oh~

kantoi tgh korek hidung. uihh, malu kot. dah la muka mesti masyuk habis dok gali. tak sempat nak cover muka feel. sedar2 je ramai mata memandang untuk memastikan tindakan seterusnya. akan digentelkah? akan dicalitkah? akan dijentikkan ke udara kah? pheww

rasa nak terKentut kuat2 di khalayak ramai. Oh ini sangat memalukan. tak syiok ok tengok muka orang tahan kentut. nak lepas takut kuat dan busuk. kalo nak tahan, muka mcm mintak penyepak aja. Siyyan2

baju terkoyak. kat tempat tak sepatutnya. hanya tersedar ketika dah berada di tempat kejadian. uh~ peritt betul perasaan malu itu bertandang.


stuff to let go

I like selling stuff as much as i like buying them. i am thankful for New Zealand's Trade Me website. I think I made some profit through the website. I've sold quite a few stuff there.

Oh, I am thinking of selling my green bicycle. I have no use of it since I quit my job. Or does she fired me? Regardless, I have no use of the bike now that I am not working.

There is also the black MP3 that I never use. I bought them earlier but urm.. let's face it, I never actually use it. I have the tendency to shop like a DATIN!

Another thing in mind to sell is my pink PSP. As much as i love that thing, i can count by the fingers on my hand how many times I actually played it. Damn, I DO like to spend money!


Wednesday, October 8


i am so sure that i dun have sensitive teeth. i am so sure that i dun need any kinda special toothpaste like Sensodyne.

it just that i prefer room temperature fruits. I dun like cold ones especially the one that just come out from fridge. I rather not put my fruits in the fridge. I just don't prefer it.

Back at home, I always take out a pear/ an orange from the fridge the nite before if I ever wanna eat it the next day. I'll just put it somewhere on the kitchen cabinet.

Sometimes my dad/mom will take the warm temperature fruit that i put aside. Which of course will drive me frenzy. Since I have to wait some more to make the fruit not-cold.

Weird eh?

Dont get me started with my anti-ness of nasi impit.



smalam sibuk melalak rock kapak. syiok~
kadang-kadang lirik2 lagu tersebut buat aku nak muntah2 geli tergelak tapi comel jugak in a way.
its a good way to reduce stress.

Sunday, October 5


just last night i was blabbing to Mas how I prefer HR not buying me flowers. Regardless la to pujuk, for special occasion or saja2. Suka memang la suka. Perempuan mana tak suka dapat bunga. Still, for me, its a bit membazir. I know the flowers are pretty, romantic and what not but flowers, for me, won't last long. Chantek itu hanya sementara.

Beli sejambak almost 40-60 ringgit/dollar for flowers that might last for a week. Lepas tuh dah tak chantek. Buat bunga kering pastuh kumpul habuk kejap and den buang. Rugi ok~ Dah la sekuntum pun 5-7 ringgit/dollar. simpan buat makan McD pun kenyang. Buy me lotsa chocolate for 40-60 ringgit/dollar. aku kenyang dan aku suka.

o, btw, hari ni dapat bunga. dri HR la. sapa lagi?

i loike ofkos. pose manja gitew~


Selamat Hari Raya

ni pose gaya URTV
salam, salam gak, mata pandang kamera, ok!

ni spontan je, nisah disebalik kamera

makanan raya: nasi tomato, ayam masak merah,
nasi impit, acar, serunding, lodeh/lontong, teh susu, punch.


p/s: tak perlu lah aku tunjuk sapa yang datang rumah, banyak sangat.


Friday, October 3

tag by mard and cik ten


* Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
* Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
* Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

  • i'm my dad's daughter. kedekut. like my dad. di-trained dgn hebat sekali
  • i like to daydream. about colourful stuff also crappie stuff thati know will never ever ever come true.
  • i always feel 'something' when my buddies, old frens or bff skola2 dulu dah move on and has new bff. Jealous kot. Walaupun tuh sebenarnye natural je, since i moved on too, tapi perasaan tu tetap ada.
  • i dont like crowd, rasa semak. so, i prefer not to go to any concert or stuff like that unless ada sitting arrangement.
  • i tak suka buat benda yang remeh. as in leceh dan renyah. im not a particular person.
  • i remember masa kecik pernah kena marah ngan mama sebab i conteng muka barbie i. mama tanya kenapa conteng, i jawab, "sebab barbie dah hitam. dah tak comel." maka semalaman i had to cuci the barbie back because it was expensive.

Tidak ku perasan ada enam je instead of seven. so here is another one about me

  • i hold on to the 'if i dun like, other people wont like it either' prinsip. macam if let say i dun like people kutuk my cooking, i supposed others wont like it too. so i wont do it.
ok mard? genap la tujuh fakta merepek


Syawal in Auckland

First Syawal of this year has passed by. It was great and fabulous. Lotsa smiles and happiness. Tiring but worth every second. Colourful and full with delicious food. Nope, I didn't bake any cakes or cookies. I just helped out. Including providing the materials. I can't precisely point at any cookies on the table and said, "That's mine. I made it!" Still, I slept late helping others.

AidilFitri in Auckland is almost the same in Malaysia that I usually have except of the lack of 'duit raya'. Oh yes, no visiting cemetery. I did suggest to my housemates to go visit cemetery since there are many cemeteries around Auckland CBD itself, but they refused. They said those arent Muslim's. It will be too weird if people caught you reciting Yassin there.

Oh, mama sent two baju raya for yours truly. One is orange and the other purple. With the tudung as well. Look gorgeous like always.


Sunday, September 28


raya '07

raya '06

oh~ rindu..



i need new addiction

kueh raya

hari ni niat nak buat kuih raya, asyik mengepap dalam blik tak buat apa. takda maknanya. siap dah p fudtown beli bahan. beli bhan random je mcm caster sugar, tepung itu, tepung ini. sekali lupa beli tepung naik sendiri.

selalunya tolong ati buat kuih. as in dia buat adunan aku amik sket buat design suka hati dengan kaler suka hati. aku suka. comel sangat sampai tak sanggup nak makan. nanti ill post the pics.

tapi tadi cubaan buat kuih ku gagal. habeh dwet juta2 tapi haprak pun takda. jadi aku amuk dan membaling semuanya ke laut. hyperbola. ya. baling ke sink je.

hati sangat marah kerana tak jadi. tanak buat kueh raya dah.

Friday, September 26

ten lines experience

just now went to SLC with Penny teaching about proofreading. in the beginning of the class, she asked us to write ten lines about our experience that day. since it is just 10am. not so much experience that I had since i woke up at 9.10 a.m with no sahur whatsoever.

this is my ten lines expereince of the day.

"I started my day with glancing at my clock beside my bed. It was still early. I dozed off back just because I could. The sun was shining brightly outside. it was going to be a good day. I woke up and had my shower with lots of bubbles from my shower cream. i always like my shower time. I sang and I danced in the shower. it was time to choose my wardrobe. Think! Think! sunshine outside, so no sweater for me."

I know it does not seem like not ten lines. But it is when I wrote it with my pencil. Seriously~

Wednesday, September 24

bihun sup utara

hari ni cadangnya nak masak bihun sup. tapi nak yang utara nye. dari semalam lagi nak makan sebab teringin tgk masakan si ain and ati.
i dunno how to do the bihun sup utara style or what's the difference but i can picture the taste in my mind. bila buat tadi, rasanya mcam bihun sup. seddapp!! tapi bukan seperti yang dalam bayangan. tak de rasa umpphh UTARA itu.

oh tetiba terfikir laksa telok kechai. OMG! lagi la susah nak cari.
o, laksa telok kechai tuh, macam laksa biasa tapi kuah dia lain.
dulu-dulu masa kanak2 selalu beli kat pasar pagi jumaat kat sekolah tunku anum.
masa dok kat kedah la. sekarang tak pernah p pasar tuh dah.
p giant je. atau supermarket yang lain.

nak nandos and cheesecake


Sunday, September 21

Ladies that I adore *part 2*

Addison Montgomery-Shepherd

This woman is bombastic. She has brain, look, confidence. I particularly like her red hair. She slept with the husband's best friend (not good) but that’s only because she felt that her hubby is ‘absent’. She fought for her marriage and stick by Derek through the torture (Meredith) Derek gave her. She was not mad or showed her jealousness at Meredith, which I personally think is hard and only one tough bitch can go thru. She never mistreated Meredith. She is one respectable and superb doctor. And I adore her courage.

it's never GREY in L.A.


cool and cold picnic

i accomplished another wish list. picnic under the sun. still, the wind is creepily cold. anyhow, another strike for fulfilled wish.

Friday, September 19


in previous blog's entry (friendster's blog) if i recalled it correctly, one of my wishes was to go somewhere that involves beach, sunshine, picnic and happiness, which i did during the mid term break. nothing too expensive or daring. just a simple tour to Devonport and enjoying sunshine. here are some photos that we snapped. after all, pictures are worth thousand words.

Thursday, September 18


here i thought i grown more mature, more wise. then i realize, i have not. i am still the same silly me who got jealous over the stupidest things, yell over the smallest matters, cry at the sweetest moment in a movie and laugh over the crappiest jokes.
i still cant decide where i stand over many issues. still cant manage my time wisely and try to steal every second to do nothing. i still dont care about the issues that supposedly matter to the world. still like hogging the phone for a long long time. still likes to flirt around and try my best to impress THE MAN.
wish that i can be more firm, more convincing. stop day dreaming about the unbelievable dreams. read more books. be more intellectual. discuss stuff that matter to the world. see more colours in everything around me. and stop missing what i might have become and cherish what i am now.


one day

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be a friend to my friends
who know how to be friends

One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married
with children and maybe adopt

One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art

One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious
authentic and grounded and home

~love every line of the lyric
~not by yours truly, of course


Monday, September 15

Ladies that I adore *part 1*

"the boy i love, protected the girl i love"
" I dont know what hurts the most; you and lucas sneaking around behind my back, or you lying about it to my face!"
"Girls--they just want someone to want them back"
"sometimes people play hard to get to make sure that the other person's feelings are real"
"This is all turning into one big love...rectangle-plus-one, whatever that is."
"The truth is, I don't really like to think about college. Cause that means high school's over.
After graduation, everyone will probably go play basketball. Or sing or start record labels, -and I'll have to start all over. Alone. I'm sure I'll be fine. But like I said, I don't like to think about it.


Ramadan and Syawal

Everyone is writing about Ramadan, I think I should too. (semak je nak tiru orang!)
My fasting so far is full, (no cuti yet) and I am loving it. Terawikh on the other hand, is one big black hole for me.

Still, the month is bless and I am feeling lucky.

Fasting in New Zealand is different from Malaysia. This time, I cook my own food unlike before, I usually bought them. No family big berbuka dishes, just great friends and house mates.

I love that I am able to fulfill all of my desire dish;
  • kuih seri muka
  • kuih keria
  • bihun hailam
  • nasi lemak
  • chicken chop
I am looking forward for Syawal. Then I can bake cookies and cakes.