Book covers

Just recently, I watched a religious tv show featuring Ustaz Kazim. For a short while only. I have no isssue with him and his style.

I was furious abt what he said. He sort of compared clean people praying and dirty people. When he said dirty he described a guy who did not take shower for weeks (which I took as a homeless), how his ibadah is sorta second class. 

Granted, I simply shut down the TV and did not hear the rest of his talk. Maybe he did clarify his statement. However, for me, no one can really say if his ibadah is accepted or not. I am not saying one can or cannot pray while being unshowered or dirty. Najis is najis. More on one should not judge another person. 

Like saying a Muslim without hijab does not pray. Or fast. Seriously, do not judge others. Simply based on their appearance.

Once, when I was much younger, my good friend who did not wear hijab was chased away from a masjid when she wanted to pray there. I mean, of course one need a proper attire to enter a masjid but she wanted to pray. What should she do? Should she not pray at all?

This holier than thou attitude must go people.

Of Social Media

I miss writing.

I do.

I really do.

The words wont come out.

I love waffle

Lately I have been travelling more and more. By bus.

To and fro KL.

I wish it is overseas. Blergh.

I noticed that the buses I rode rarely stopped at the designated RnR stop. Which is weird for me.

I am used to the RnR facilities.

These other stops are not bad. They are just different.

In a good way - it is less crowded than those in Machap and Pagoh RnR. Especially during the long holiday. It is quite clean. It has nice view. Spacious. Variety of food. (Why am I complaining again?)

Oh yes. It is so expensive. So so so blood thirsty expensive. A cup of hot coffee from the machine is RM6 ++. My favourite waffle? RM4.50.

And being superstitious that I am. All the signanges are in Chinese. So I don't buy much food there. Then again, if Burger Ramly is like RM7, how much do you think is the Nasi Goreng?

Do the math.

Apple Cinnamon

I was always fortunate enough to have foreigners as my next door neighbour. No, that the blue eyes kinds. I wish~ *roll eyes*

It's the people you usually see building your houses, making your teas and guarding your malls. Yup, the immigrant workers.

I ain't complaining. I am the type of neighbour who mind my own business. 

                                      

However, my neighbours are also my students. And their family of course. I have no problem with that too.

Though, they are some (read: A LOT) of these students look down upon them. Saying negative things about them. Some petty things.

"Diorang tu busuk, teacher."

"Teacher tak dengar ke diorang menumbuk sambal?"

" Diorang tu banyak bulu..."

Honestly, I don't make up their comments. They do say stuff like that.

I'm not saying that is not true. But look at the bigger pictures, kids!

These neighbours of mine, always, always go to the mosque for prayers. With their favourite white clothing that looks like ladies clothing (It looks so comfy that I wanna buy one or three for HR). They would always contact their family or loved ones (When is the last time you call your parents?).  They work damn hard to support their family faraway (What did you spent your money on?).

They are maybe some bad batch of these workers. But don't let one bad apple rot the rest.

Just like we don't like ISIS judge the whole Muslim community.

p/s: This advice apply to me too.

 

Malam Seribu Bulan

The other day as I was browsing through the television, I stumbled across Ustaz Shamsul Debat talking about Lailatulqadar.

He was talking about the benefits and the deeds.

He mentioned something that made me had a "duh" moment.

He said some of the ibadah that women can do is cook and pack nasi goreng and send to  Balai Bomba or Balai Polis or wherever. This is called ibadah too and sedekah somemore.

All this while when people mentioned Lailatul Qadar, it is often associated with pray or read the Quran. Im not saying it is wrong but it totally opens my eyes.

So off I go to tuition with the intention to ibadah. (I used to think that tuition session disrupt my ibadah but none the wiser). I continued baking cookies with the intend to feed people.

Maybe it is not the same but I feel happier though. Who knows.

Who can really say my Terawih prayers are better than teaching ten eager kids?

All is in the intention. I think.


p/s: He is my current favourite Ustaz coz his name got Sham and he is from Nogori like my other half.

Life as a working wife

This time around, me and HR went groceries shopping together, quite recently.

I bought another bottle of cooking oil. Still the 1 litre kind.

HR commented that he just bought oil. Which is true.

I explained to him, now that I no longer teaching for 30-period-of-English-per-week, I am no longer very lethargic every evening. I can cook like all the time.

Which I did. 

I still arrived home around 4.30ish every evening, with meetings and co-curricular activities and yadda yadda yaddaa (who am I kidding?), but I feel more energetic. I feel that I can focus more and do more for the kids. 

Oh yeah, there is no point to the post.

I just realized that too.

All smiles and sunshines

I don't like meeting smart people who are driven with dreams and ambitions.

They made me feel like all my problems, challenges and issues in life seem petty. They, of course, did not mean too, but I felt it somehow.

It is silly.

p/s: We didn't get the transfer to KL. Silly me for hoping.

:-(

I really need to focus my priorities.

And divide my time better.

Too tired for everything.

Too lazy mostly.

Override

Men are stupid.
Too harsh, most men are stupid most of the time.
Why bother?
Men are stupid.

The other day, I got the opportunity to take a KTM ride. Alone. So I opted for the women's coach. 

It was not peak hour so they weren't many people and it was so joyful. The ride. Not the fact that I had to travel alone. On a KTM.

These stupid men who couldn't read or couldn't even bother just strode along on the women's coach. Stupid. If you really couldn't read, the signs, all over the coach (truly all over), couldn't you see, its pink. PINK coach. Not meant for you men.

Who are even stupider than those stupid men?

Stupid women.

Stupid women who brought their stupid men on the women's coach. 

Yes, those women!

Being 25

Sometimes, being too smart can bring problems to oneself. More disadvantages than advantages.

Being oblivious is the key.

No harm.

Thank You

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present... and not giving it.

William A. Ward

And I'm back ... And smiling wider than ever

It is the little things that can put a smile on my face.

Like a student who ran so fast so that he can catch up with me to say "Good Morning,teacher."

Like one particular student who wrote a small note telling me how pretty I am. Always.

Like a few 4S1 boys guarding me when some other boys want to talk to me. Like I am theirs. And only theirs. Other students aren't allowed to talk to me.

Like some students excitedly telling me that they finished their work and enjoyed the lesson.

Like some random students admiring my style and keep telling me how awesome if I am their teacher.

Like seeing smiles on their faces when they finally understood what I taught.

Like students forcing me to hang with them so they can narrate their stories and share secrets with me.

Like someone who shouldn't, but calling me cute out of the blue.

The beauty of kampung life.

Saqinah told me to list down why I love him and keep it safe in case I ever forget about them

One thing I always keep in mind. Never try to change him. Let him be himself. Allow him to act silly. Let him has his free time. Accept his friends. Permit him some breather. Because at the end of the day that is the person I fall in love with. The quirks and all.

If I ever limit him, how can he be the guy that I adore?

The one who is my bestfriend and would listen to all thewhining. The one who has 'Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde' syndrome. The one whose brain is full with nonsensical facts but blur with general knowledge. The one that would carry all the bags for me. The one with funny friends. The one who would endure hours and hours of Alanis Morissette and Yuna. The one who needs a push to get things done. The one who always has the answer to everything. The one with great taste in sitcoms (and girl). The one who sleeps like there's no tomorrow (I don't adore this but accept it). The one who knows a lot about local and international artists. The one who likes to walk (read: walk). The one who would never admit that he is scared of those green slimy reptile. The one who would follow patienly as I browse through handbags and shoes. The one with time management issues. The one who would sing and make all the guitar noises for me to sleep.

And yes.

Sometime it is a struggle but I will try my very best.

Because I love him.

Bagai ditelan mati emak, diluah mati bapak

I have been meaning to write about this for awhile. As long as I started to feel it but I am that girl who like to proscatinate.

As I mentioned earlier my mom had successfully undergone bypass and now she is just recovering at home for around three months. Well, one of the possible reason for her condition is stress related to work as she is kinda workaholic and also perfectionist (sometimes to point that drives me mad).

So, while resting at home, she still contacted her school and getting updates. She also received/exchanged emails with her PKs. She couldn't let her reign over them as she needed the school to be perfect administrating wise.

My dilemma is that while my elder brother keeps getting furious over this matter and bans her from the computer (oh yes he bans her), I keep on helping her out. He forbids her from doing and even thinking about possible stressful things.

I will be the one who helps her out. Any simple detail that she doesn't know I will aid her and be at her side. She doesn't know how to copy, how to make this thing bigger, or that thing there but make sure it is also here, I make it happen. I am the enabler.

My logic, let her do things that makes happy. I will help her out as far as I can. That is how I am keeping her from being stressful. I'll do the complicated-ish part. I do the hard work while she edits. Sometimes from afar sometimes on her own.

She keeps telling stories how my brother wouldn't let her do this and that because he cares. Proudly. That sting a little. Is it I don't care? That is why I am enabling here? Should I not let her do it? Should I not drive her to school where she found out only one clerk left for the school (the other two were on holidays) and went beserk right there and then? Should I just let her take the cab?

It is just like when she was just out of her operation (like maybe 4-5 days), she didn't really eat anything and she felt like she wanted to eat nasi goreng at Pak Chu's. So I told my brother who was on his way to get food for us who were in the hospital. He was furious at me. He said mean things.

Here I was just thinking, let her eat what she wanted as she barely eat anything. And she was telling me how it would be nice and lovely if she can eat that. I just told my brother, "you tell her that yourself. I won't deny her that." At the end of the story he brought us the nasi goreng but she just ate like 4 spoons. She knew she wasn't supposed to eat but she wants it. So she just had a little to satisfy the cravings.

Yes, I am the enabler. And yes I always feel guilty of being that. Just like I don't love her enough to say no.

We are human after all.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Each one of us have different priorities and views. I think no one is supposed to be wrong or right. We are just diverse individuals because we think differently.

When stating one opinion, one should be careful. Even though one is very sure one is right. Say it nicely. Write it with wisdom. Don't simply accuse. Use appropriate language.

What you say define who you are.

Yes, I borrowed the book entitled Manisnya Cinta

First of all, let me start off by saying I am a patriotic person. And I love my country.

So, I was very happy when I realized that there's a Pustaka Komuniti at JJ near my house. It is a some sort of mini library by Perpustakaan Negara. Oh, I love to read. A lot.

As I checked out the library, I thought to myself, the collection of English novels are quiet awesome. Not to mention the great amount of quantity. So I thought that I am lucky to have this book heaven near my house which has decent parking spaces.

That day, I decided to become a member. And straightaway borrowed some books to bring back to Gua Musang. I had chosen a few titles. Apparently, at that time, the system is down so I was unable to join the membership. I was disappointed. I put back the books.

So, the next weekend that I returned to KL, I went back there to check the membership form that I had manually fill. You know how excited I was? I arrived at 9.30a.m only to realize that it opened at 10.00a.m (well, that is after waiting for thirty minutes or so). But, since I am now on official member, I borrowed a few books.

Weeks later, upon returning the book, I spent my time, choosing books. There was not so many titles that I like anymore but I patiently browsed and browsed. After almost half an hour of carefully selecting and putting the book down at the counter, I was told the system was down. I could not borrow them.

Oh I was pissed.

I just put the books down there and left. I could not contain my anger. That auntie who was so busy yapping about on the phone might just get a mouthful from me.

Come on la~ You saw me tertonggeng-tonggeng looking for books, have la the courtesy to tell me the system was down. It was just a waste of time and energy. Not to mention, the fact that 2 out of 3 times I was there, the system was down.

So much for being lucky.

Maybe they should just opt for borrowing manually.

Black Widow

Sometimes, I wish that my wise mind would just follow my wild heart.

The Cat Burglar

I don't actually particularly like cats. It i s more like I have no feeling towards cats. I mean they are cute and all. But as long as they are being cute elsewhere and being care of by others, I am fine with it.

I mean I don't go and suddenly sepak kucing out of nowhere. But disturbing and invading my freedom to sidai baju outside my own house, I hate it. Stop harassing my legs and let me sidai baju in peace. I had to kais the kucing from my leg. But when the cat didnt get the message I was forced to sepak it. I don't like myself when I did that. But I had to.

The cat forced me to enter my own house in speed of light to avoid it coming in the house - I freaking hate you. Now, invading my own freedom in my own room. Damn you. I can't open my window freely; in case the cat jumps into our house.

I might actually run over the cat one day.

I am not particularly a violent person.

I stress that I have indifferent feeling towards cats. But making me live in fear, I might just do it.

This is not the first time the cat has troubled me.

It actually left something inside our house before. It almost made us puke. It is worse than a simple tahi kucing.

Of Monday Blues

Why is it that I am at my poorest when I started working?
I have more money when I am studying.
Sigh~

Light and darkness

it is not only hard to take care of those who do not care,

it is also hurtful

plain and simple