Thursday, December 31

I want to travel around Malaysia this year

Watch movies on my laptop tonight. Nope, I'm not going out to 'celebrate' New Year. Every New Year is just celebrated indoor for me. Will gugu-gaga at fireworks from my balcony only.

I despise crowd. I hate strangers standing too close to me. Indoor is the way to go for me.

I just wanna share some quotes in Public Enemies said by John Dillinger (Johnny Depp). Something like this ..

"People like to judge others for where they come from
but they actually should judge people for where they are going to."

I thought it is nice and wise.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Wednesday, December 30

Say what you mean .....

...... Mean what you say

Apa maksudnya kalau kawan kita yang dahulunya sangat rapat dengan kita tapi semakin renggang mengusulkan kepada kita supaya jangan lupa dia, kekalkan persahabatan dan jangan benci dia apabila kita menguhubunginya dan dia tak pernah menjadi yang pertama yang menghulur salam persahabatan? Dia hanya mahu kita untuk cuba mengekalkan sedangkan dia tak pedulikan.

Sunday, December 27

My nose is running

I think I'm going to be the cool aunt. Or is it I'm already a cool aunt?

I don't directly have nieces and nephews for real like from my brothers. But I have plenty from my cousins. (Orang kedah kata 'mak menakan pupu'). All my cousins from my mom's side is married and have kids. As for my elder brother, who knows?

Well, for me, I think, I'm going to be the aunt that the kids ask for opinions on matters like boys/girls, music or movies. The kind of aunt kids will discuss about their crush(es). The kind of aunt the kids gonna confide about holding hands with their lovers. The kids gonna entrust me with the secrets that their mom going to kill them for. The kind of aunt that brings the kids to let nyte outings and shows.

I will provide advice and best way to style the hair. Or the perfect colour for nails. The best band to listen to. The movies to avoid. The one who brings them to concerts or shows. The one that will introduce them to fancy foods and magazines. The one that will bring them places other than zoo and museum.

Yup, all that.

The first time I felt this is when I was hanging out with my nieces. We were just chilling in my room listening to Taylor Swift and gossiping about artist. Disney artist that is. The nieces are too young to know Jolie, Gardner, Pitt or Cruise. So we talked about Hannah Montana and Lizzie McGuire and Jonas Brothers. While complaining about the nagging grandmothers.

I feel young again. I guess I can still relate to them in that level. The feeling of constantly being nag to or being reminded to eat. Stuff like that.

Now, who wants me as their aunt? Or want me to be around for your kid?
I guess I'm the kinda girl who despise choosing. I really can't choose. I am always scared that I might hurt someone with my choice.

But, I'm the kinda girl who knows what I want.

I think I mentioned this before, it's really tiring to please people. To put others before you. To ensure that everyone is happy and fulfill.

Saturday, December 26

Pale in comparison

I think I have put my life on hold.

I haven't changed the clock at my laptop to be Malaysian time or the Azan software to show Malaysian prayer time. Or the weather forecast widget.

I haven't unsubscribed emails from New Zealand's shop. I still know promotions happening in Dressmart or Warehouse. I still got notification about discounts from Kathhmandu and Portmans.

It's not like I don't have time to do all the stuff. I have time. I just don't want to be bothered by all these little stuffs. It's like I'm trying to hold on to something uncertain. It's like if I unsubscribed those stuff, my memories may be deleted. If I dare change the littlest things, I might forgotten the feeling of being a student living abroad.

Wednesday, December 23

Yellow crawlers on the wall

Semalam balik kampung. Ke Kedah.
Hari ni mama ajak pergi Bukit Wang. Main air sungai. Oh bestnye~

Dalam perjalanan, singgah R&R nak solat. Then you realize you miss the small things when you are away. Like R&R. Like the facilities to pray throughout the journey if needed. Lovely~

Masa tunggu mama solat, ternampak cicak. Banyak. Then I realize, kat NZ takde cicak. I smiled to myself knowing that I miss those little creepy creature too. Rasanya ada 6,7 ekor cicak atas shilling hari tuh and they were happy. Playing around.

sigh, smallest things do make ones day.

Friday, December 11

one step at a time

Living at home has been a blast for me. Just like living in dormitory but instead of with girls, its with boys. They are different kind than the usual girls that I used to live with. Different, but fun nonetheless. Less gossiping or pillow talk. More screaming. More sports talks. More remote snatching. Louder laughs. Basically, more testosterone.

It's fun to live in the moment.

Tuesday, December 8

yea yeah

This is HR.

He is wearing one of the t-shirts I made for him. It's his band name. He loves it. Only after a while he said to me, "Mana ada ahli band pakai t-shirt band sendiri." I never thought about that fact.

To the man ...

who would carry all the heavy stuff for me
who would listen when I keep on ranting
who would be patient when I am out of my mind
who entertain my childish demand
who helps me cook even when it feels to girlish
who loves different music than I do
who cares for his guitar more than he cares for his gf
who makes lovely symphony for me
who eats like there will be no tomorrow
who thinks only within the moment
who loves to get adrenaline rush yet closing his squinty eyes
who likes to ramble on about fun facts of his musical stuff
who is MY MAN!!

Happy Birthday sayang.

Hisyam Rock

p/s: If u ever call me kakak, I wont give you your present.

Monday, December 7

Senyum itu sedekah la kakak kaunter

Agak-agak menarik tak kalo Fear Factor suruh orang puteh makan sambal petai yg pedas gila. Bukan sahaja sangat-sangat pedas tapi berbau jugak. Mesti fear is a factor nanti. Hahaha

Aku culture-shock di Malaysia. Pelik kan? Macam mana boleh shock dalam culture sendiri? Tapi aku memang shock lah~


Meet Uncle Dashilah

Aku dari hari tu dok tertanya-tanya dalam hati kenapa rakyat Malaysia tak ambil peluang menggunakan Touch 'n' Go? Bukan kah lebih mudah dan tak payah susah-susah nak beratur? Sekarang aku tahu, rupanya sebab susah nak top up Touch 'n' Go. Itu aku yang alami. Payah bebenor~

Memang tak dapat disangkal lagi, rakyat Malaysia memang banyak. Banyak gila. Gila-gila punya banyak.

Friday, December 4

All that I need

It's like stepping into my own mind. Only years younger. I can almost smell the sweet demure innocent girl that I was. I am still all that just with more maturity, I think.

That's what I think of my room.

My mom keeps it the way it was.

Looking at all the pictures that I hang on my walls, all turned a bit yellowish portraying the absence of the room's owners. All smiley and younger version of me. I got lotsa teddy around the room and when I saw them, I smiled. They look just the same. The books that I am so proud of owning, like Sweet Valley Jr High Collection, seemed a bit childish-like to keep on possessing.

I think to myself, I am going to need to re-invent my room to suit the me now.

Plus, there is no more space for the new wardrobe.

Here in my heart

I am safely in my cocoon now. Home sweet home.

Arrived safely last night. Saw my mom's sweet face first after scrunching my eyes. Yup, I'm that rabun and that lazy to reach for my spectacles. Only after a while I saw more familiar faces. Arif, Nana, Roja, Ejat and Jai ofkos. Then, we head to KMB to visit my brother who is preparing for exams.

Yes, my dad had prepared KFC for me earlier and I had my dinner again there (apparently, the MAS flight has feed us but I need more). Lovely surrounding and faces. Great chat and catch up.

I couldn't help myself and finally admits defeat and said to them, "PANAS AH!!" They just laughed and honour me the front seat of the car to be closer to the aircond. (Kesian kot dok tgk aku mengibas baju je).

Come set date with me so we can catch up.