Blowing the candles in style

None of us think that we like to be treated like a child. Especially at the age of early twenties. When all the options come knocking our doors. Most of us feel very much adult-like at that age. Very much capable of making own decisions and mistakes. Especially when we are used to being independent when studying abroad.

I used to be furious when my mom treat me like a child. Telling me what to wear, who to be nice to, when to speak, when to go out or how to react. It felt like I'm in no control over my own life. My life need to follow her way of thinking. It did not feel fair when she herself got married at that young age. I rebelled, of course, in my own way.

Truthfully, I am scared. Making my own decisions. Making my own mistakes. There's no one to fall to.

I don't like handling family issues - that requires me to stand on my own two feet. I hate thinking what to cook. I hate it when I have to see doctor on my own. I really don't know how to talk to doctors or what to tell them. I hate choosing home decoration. I never know how to talk to old relatives on my own. I don't know how to choose chicken in supermarket. I really don't know what to say to tailor when making my baju kurung.

In that sense, I prefer to be a child. Forever. No responsibilities.
In that sense, I love my over-protective mom guiding me through and through.
In that sense, I never want to grow up.

Yesterday, I celebrated my 23rd birthday. With loved ones.

My wish this year is to always to be a child in my mom eyes. For her to always be there for me and protect me no matter what. For her to never stop guiding and teaching me despite my rebel mood and grunts.

Thanks mama for giving birth to a 'healthy' girl like me.
Thanks abah for everything.

p/s: When my mom wished me the other day, she said to get married at 24. Yipppeee!!