Tuesday, January 10

Bagai ditelan mati emak, diluah mati bapak

I have been meaning to write about this for awhile. As long as I started to feel it but I am that girl who like to proscatinate.

As I mentioned earlier my mom had successfully undergone bypass and now she is just recovering at home for around three months. Well, one of the possible reason for her condition is stress related to work as she is kinda workaholic and also perfectionist (sometimes to point that drives me mad).

So, while resting at home, she still contacted her school and getting updates. She also received/exchanged emails with her PKs. She couldn't let her reign over them as she needed the school to be perfect administrating wise.

My dilemma is that while my elder brother keeps getting furious over this matter and bans her from the computer (oh yes he bans her), I keep on helping her out. He forbids her from doing and even thinking about possible stressful things.

I will be the one who helps her out. Any simple detail that she doesn't know I will aid her and be at her side. She doesn't know how to copy, how to make this thing bigger, or that thing there but make sure it is also here, I make it happen. I am the enabler.

My logic, let her do things that makes happy. I will help her out as far as I can. That is how I am keeping her from being stressful. I'll do the complicated-ish part. I do the hard work while she edits. Sometimes from afar sometimes on her own.

She keeps telling stories how my brother wouldn't let her do this and that because he cares. Proudly. That sting a little. Is it I don't care? That is why I am enabling here? Should I not let her do it? Should I not drive her to school where she found out only one clerk left for the school (the other two were on holidays) and went beserk right there and then? Should I just let her take the cab?

It is just like when she was just out of her operation (like maybe 4-5 days), she didn't really eat anything and she felt like she wanted to eat nasi goreng at Pak Chu's. So I told my brother who was on his way to get food for us who were in the hospital. He was furious at me. He said mean things.

Here I was just thinking, let her eat what she wanted as she barely eat anything. And she was telling me how it would be nice and lovely if she can eat that. I just told my brother, "you tell her that yourself. I won't deny her that." At the end of the story he brought us the nasi goreng but she just ate like 4 spoons. She knew she wasn't supposed to eat but she wants it. So she just had a little to satisfy the cravings.

Yes, I am the enabler. And yes I always feel guilty of being that. Just like I don't love her enough to say no.

1 comment:

pika pikah said...

that's a difficult situation. mcm ditelan mati mak diluah mati bapak. buat susah, tak buat pon susah. My two cents: If u do it out of pure love and doesnt mean any harm on her health, InsyaAllah God will lend a hand and wont make things worse. Doa is a powerful tool. Just make sure she doesnt overdo anything. The bright side is, if u are the enabler, and u think her workload is too much, u can always 'disable' it. :)