wanna do soul searching

Since the painful incident, HR keeps asking me questions about hukum-hakam agama.
There are some questions that I can answer brilliantly. There are some that makes me ponder for a while. Others, I don't know the answer at all.
Then I thought, I am so unaware.

Sometimes, he also asks about afterlife. I realized my answers are clouded with the English movies that I've watched. Most of the time, I am never sure with my answers and just say, maybe.

I feel like I'm in need of change and soul searching~

~paperheart~

hidup bermasyarakat

I remembered since i was a little girl my mom keep nurturing me about living in a community. Everything must be in accordance. Or else, what might others think.
At first, I was like, who cares what the neighbours think?

Still, when it comes to going to a feast in the neighbourhood, of course I'll go. It's free food, meh. but when it came to the part that will need me to mingle, especially with old people (mom's friends), i got shy. I am always shy~
I spoke when was spoken to. But I did attend the ceremony. Regardless how boring. How I know no one. (This is a requirement when you are the only daughter and you are your mom's sidekick) I did recite the Yassin when needed, helped clean out when asked, stand when there was no seat available for older people.

My mom never let our garbage melimpah until near the road.(melimpah dengan ranting2 pkok bunga atau daun, if you know my house, you know my mom's obsession with gardening) Sweep our part of the road. Cut the grass on our side. All those little things that people like would say, yeah. whatever. My mom made it a priority.

Living in a country will countable Malaysian, and no elder, wiser Malaysian people, hidup bermasyarakat becomes very crucial. Of course, Kiwis never care, you can go to class with no slipper, come to dinner with pink spiky hair or even come naked. Kiwis wont care. We, Malaysian only have each other. We fake smile to cherish this hidup bermasyarakat. After all, our comunity is small. If we fight among one another, there no longer will be 'we'. Just either you or me.

HR lost his dearest sister the other day. I realized that community is very important. We need each other to be strong. For HR, you know Ill be with you.

Thus, attend every event you are invited to and fake smiles when needed. You dont need to like the person. Be there for one another when needed. Help out if you can. Obey the leader when their are right, correct when they are wrong. Our leader represent who we are.

~paperheart~

tag - gee - tug - tee

diriku telah ditag oleh beliau ----> Ixora, teman seperjuanganku zaman kanak2 ribena

1. When was the last time you ran?

To avoid the rain you mean? oh every two days here in auckland.

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears and holes in them?

Intentional one you mean? Nope~

3. What are you dreading right now?

Now? Cohort 3 party. My mom's arrival.

4. Do you celebrate 4/20?

Do I know what that is?

5. When was the last time you saw your significant other?

I hope there will never be a last time!

6. Do you get the full eight hours of sleep every night?

If u include the day time is 8 hours

7. What is your favorite current song?

My favourite song is not current ~ Fantasia Bulan Madu ~

8. If anyone came to your house on your lazy days, what would you do?

Entertain them like I always do.

9. Who last grabbed your ass?

Who dare?

10. Have you ever been in your school’s band?

Nah~ was born tone deaf

11. Do you own a pair of Converse?

Nope.

12. Did you copy and paste this survey?

Tak syiok la~

13. Do you eat raw cookie dough?

Only if it is tasy. It usually is since I did it.

14. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?

Of course. And it hurt like hell.

15. Do you hate it when a radio ruins a song by playing a slow one after it?

Radio is rare technology for me.

16. Do you watch Trading Places?

Apa itu?

17. Have you ever stayed on line a long time waiting for someone?

Duh~ erm, yes.

18. Are you ‘cocky’?

Tak paham. But I am cute. HR said so~

19. Could you live without a computer?

Been there done that. I am alive aren't I?

20. Do you wear your shoes in the house?

Nope.

21. At what age did you find out Santa was not real?

Sejak lahir. I guess I was born smart~~

22. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are there in your home?

this house? 5 cellphones

23. What do you do when you are sad?

I force HR to symphatize, regardless

24. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?

NO ONE.

25. Last time you saw your best friend?

Still, hoping there will never be the last time.

26. Who, or What sleeps with you?

My duvet~

27. Are you still in High School?

Nope. I do look like o

28. Is anyone on your bad side now?

Hope not.

29. What jewelry are you wearing now?

None.

30. What is the first thing that you do when you get on line?

my email

31. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?

Used to. Not anymore. no more addison

32. Would you ever wear a boy/girlfriends clothes?

Of course

33. Where do you work?

If shopping is considered as working, Queen St.

34. What are you doing on Friday?

Next Friday?

35. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?

Do I look like I care?

36. Favorite name for a girl?

Iqlima

37. Favorite name for a boy?

Ibrahim

38. Will you keep your own name when you get married?

I loike my name. HR likes it too

39. When was the last time you left your house?

Like the last 30 minutes.

40. Do you return your cart (I assume trolley)?

Kite guna bakul je.

41. Do you have a dishwasher?

Tiadalah.

42. What noise do you hear?

Britney Spears is not a noise

~paperheart~

another raya picture

the picture is made by my brother. dengan comelnye
my mom dgn susah payah email me the picture and her subject was written in capital letter,

"SAPA KATA NINA TAK BALIK RAYA"

btw, nina tuh, yours truly la.
=)

oh sungguh terharu.

n today is my mom's birthday.

~paperheart~

gone has my days

im thinking hard to write something meaningful here. you know, after a while not writing blog, i deserve to write meaningful stuff that makes people ponder about it. damn~ my mind gone blank.
so, ill update you with my hectic life so far.

last nite we held a diva party and it was a blast.
last nite acap returned my laptop fully functioning.

yesterday went to view two houses
yesterday went to eat a delicious food

the day before submitted my Phono's assignment
the day before held meeting for presentation

before that, i forgot.

but it was a hectic week.

this following week supposed to be a study week. I am supposed to relax first because my exam is on the 3rd week.

not for me. i got another assignment to submit. another presentation to do. another party to held and ensure it to be a great success.

~paperheart~

updating today

Today is Thursday. I dont have class on Thursday. Thursday is my hibernation day.
I have a lot of assignments. I also have uncountable lots of laziness.

Today, I send my precious thing to the repair shop. I mean HR send it. I supervise him through the phone. My precious thing is so screwed up even Intan cannot help me. That repairing will cost me money. It is beyond help and of course it will cost me money beyondly.

Hijrah lend me her VAIO. I am so super cautious using it. Scary meh~ New expensive laptop. I am thankful for it though. Apparently is my HD, so any attempts to do assignments are not taken.

Today, I involunatarily clean out HR's closest. Then, he belanja me SUSHI. I loike~

Today, I think I am gonna cook Tom Yam.

~paperheart~

crush

Last Monday, I discovered that the guy that I have / had crush on, just got a new girlfriend.
That particular girl is my closest friend's friend. I am not particularly jealous. But I really dislike it. In a way, I know that I wont approach the guy, ever, ever. Still, I want him to be single, to be mine. Then again, he has his needs. MAN! I hope he is happy with the girl. I know I am a better girlfriend than she will ever be. (You can ask HR for reference) I will be a great girlfriend to him. His lost.

~paperheart~

kesayanganku telah mati dan mungkin hidup kembali tanpa memori yang menjadikannya milikku

kepada sesiapa yang mempedulikan diriku pacal yang hina ini, ketahuilah komputer riba milikku telah rosak secara tiba2 tanpa ku sempat menyimpan dokumen yang penting.
aku kini telah ketiadaan beliau. Kehidupan ku kini bergantung kepada belas kasihan rakan sekeliling dan juga komputer di perpustakaan.

walaubgaimnapun, diri ini masih bersyukur kerana pagi itu tergerak hati nurani ini untuk 'save' assignment 225 yang separa jalan itu. rasa bersyukur tak terhingga.

aku menangis tak berlagu

~paperheart~

Summer School

I've been thinking about doing summer school for a while now. At one point, I even decided not to enroll and just spend my summer hanging around doing absolutely nothing and feeling free of any kind of obligations. Then, I snapped out of it and continue hunting for what course should I enroll in.

So, my version of GREAT COURSE that i should enroll has these characteristics:

• no EXAM
• in the morning
• not everyday
• EASY PEEZY course

Still, I do have the feeling of pursuing towards something not doing with language / writing / grammar / words / literature and tries something with number / calculation / percentage like Maths maybe or Statistics. I have this huge fear of not able to cope well with these kinda subject. After all, it had been a while. Like '3-4 years' while.

Regardless of the characteristics and fear, I shortlisted these as my choices.

• Language Teaching 102 (no exam & stage one paper, i loike)
• ESOL 201 - Writing (no exam, sick of writing thingie)
• Stats 101 (EXAM - dah ushar papernya - objective)
• Maths 101 (EXAM - ada essay Q)
• Philosophy 150 - Critical Thinking (Exam tapi mcm Senang)

So, there are my final candidates, nothing for sure yet.

~paperheart~

stuff yang tak best jika berlaku pada diri sendiri

baju sama. pi majlis grand. pakai baju liplap. tiba2 ada pelanduk 2 serupa. pakai sebijik baju yang di badan. kecik dunia ni eh~

bersin tak lepas. Oh MAN! tak tahu macam mana nak describe perasaan tersebut. dah ada feel nak bersin dah, tapi dia tanak keluar. rasa tersangkut satu beban kat hidung. Oh~

kantoi tgh korek hidung. uihh, malu kot. dah la muka mesti masyuk habis dok gali. tak sempat nak cover muka feel. sedar2 je ramai mata memandang untuk memastikan tindakan seterusnya. akan digentelkah? akan dicalitkah? akan dijentikkan ke udara kah? pheww

rasa nak terKentut kuat2 di khalayak ramai. Oh ini sangat memalukan. tak syiok ok tengok muka orang tahan kentut. nak lepas takut kuat dan busuk. kalo nak tahan, muka mcm mintak penyepak aja. Siyyan2

baju terkoyak. kat tempat tak sepatutnya. hanya tersedar ketika dah berada di tempat kejadian. uh~ peritt betul perasaan malu itu bertandang.

~paperheart~

stuff to let go

I like selling stuff as much as i like buying them. i am thankful for New Zealand's Trade Me website. I think I made some profit through the website. I've sold quite a few stuff there.

Oh, I am thinking of selling my green bicycle. I have no use of it since I quit my job. Or does she fired me? Regardless, I have no use of the bike now that I am not working.

There is also the black MP3 that I never use. I bought them earlier but urm.. let's face it, I never actually use it. I have the tendency to shop like a DATIN!

Another thing in mind to sell is my pink PSP. As much as i love that thing, i can count by the fingers on my hand how many times I actually played it. Damn, I DO like to spend money!

~paperheart~

sen-SEnTAP

i am so sure that i dun have sensitive teeth. i am so sure that i dun need any kinda special toothpaste like Sensodyne.

it just that i prefer room temperature fruits. I dun like cold ones especially the one that just come out from fridge. I rather not put my fruits in the fridge. I just don't prefer it.

Back at home, I always take out a pear/ an orange from the fridge the nite before if I ever wanna eat it the next day. I'll just put it somewhere on the kitchen cabinet.

Sometimes my dad/mom will take the warm temperature fruit that i put aside. Which of course will drive me frenzy. Since I have to wait some more to make the fruit not-cold.

Weird eh?

Dont get me started with my anti-ness of nasi impit.

~paperheart~

laguku

smalam sibuk melalak rock kapak. syiok~
kadang-kadang lirik2 lagu tersebut buat aku nak muntah2 geli tergelak tapi comel jugak in a way.
its a good way to reduce stress.

flower

just last night i was blabbing to Mas how I prefer HR not buying me flowers. Regardless la to pujuk, for special occasion or saja2. Suka memang la suka. Perempuan mana tak suka dapat bunga. Still, for me, its a bit membazir. I know the flowers are pretty, romantic and what not but flowers, for me, won't last long. Chantek itu hanya sementara.

Beli sejambak almost 40-60 ringgit/dollar for flowers that might last for a week. Lepas tuh dah tak chantek. Buat bunga kering pastuh kumpul habuk kejap and den buang. Rugi ok~ Dah la sekuntum pun 5-7 ringgit/dollar. simpan buat makan McD pun kenyang. Buy me lotsa chocolate for 40-60 ringgit/dollar. aku kenyang dan aku suka.

o, btw, hari ni dapat bunga. dri HR la. sapa lagi?


i loike ofkos. pose manja gitew~

~paperheart~

Selamat Hari Raya

ni pose gaya URTV
salam, salam gak, mata pandang kamera, ok!

ni spontan je, nisah disebalik kamera

makanan raya: nasi tomato, ayam masak merah,
nasi impit, acar, serunding, lodeh/lontong, teh susu, punch.


SELAMAT HARI RAYA
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN


p/s: tak perlu lah aku tunjuk sapa yang datang rumah, banyak sangat.

~paperheart~

tag by mard and cik ten

Rules::-

* Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
* Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
* Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

• i'm my dad's daughter. kedekut. like my dad. di-trained dgn hebat sekali
• i like to daydream. about colourful stuff also crappie stuff thati know will never ever ever come true.
• i always feel 'something' when my buddies, old frens or bff skola2 dulu dah move on and has new bff. Jealous kot. Walaupun tuh sebenarnye natural je, since i moved on too, tapi perasaan tu tetap ada.
  
• i dont like crowd, rasa semak. so, i prefer not to go to any concert or stuff like that unless ada sitting arrangement.
• i tak suka buat benda yang remeh. as in leceh dan renyah. im not a particular person.
  
• i remember masa kecik pernah kena marah ngan mama sebab i conteng muka barbie i. mama tanya kenapa conteng, i jawab, "sebab barbie dah hitam. dah tak comel." maka semalaman i had to cuci the barbie back because it was expensive.
  

**UPDATED**

Tidak ku perasan ada enam je instead of seven. so here is another one about me

• i hold on to the 'if i dun like, other people wont like it either' prinsip. macam if let say i dun like people kutuk my cooking, i supposed others wont like it too. so i wont do it.

ok mard? genap la tujuh fakta merepek

~paperheart~

Syawal in Auckland

First Syawal of this year has passed by. It was great and fabulous. Lotsa smiles and happiness. Tiring but worth every second. Colourful and full with delicious food. Nope, I didn't bake any cakes or cookies. I just helped out. Including providing the materials. I can't precisely point at any cookies on the table and said, "That's mine. I made it!" Still, I slept late helping others.

AidilFitri in Auckland is almost the same in Malaysia that I usually have except of the lack of 'duit raya'. Oh yes, no visiting cemetery. I did suggest to my housemates to go visit cemetery since there are many cemeteries around Auckland CBD itself, but they refused. They said those arent Muslim's. It will be too weird if people caught you reciting Yassin there.

Oh, mama sent two baju raya for yours truly. One is orange and the other purple. With the tudung as well. Look gorgeous like always.


~paperheart~